fun...creative...driven

Happy New Year!

2011-08-15T12:57:00.002-04:00

I use an academic year calendar instead of the "normal" calendar that 99% of the world uses. My routine for making the big switch each year goes something like this:

1. Gather my old and new calendars.
2. Fix myself a cold drink (normally ice water since I have to have a clear head).
3. Gather my beautiful colored pens.
4. Get comfortable either on the deck or in a chair inside.

I love the smell of the new, untouched pages.

I love the way the colored pens are sitting ready...waiting for me to decide the categories for using them. (this would have been a great time to snap a photo, but I failed to see the future)

I love the fresh lines and the peace that comes from looking at the new calendar with nothing written in it. (again...awesome photo op!)

Today, August 15, was the day I chose to start planning out my life for the new year. I gathered up my pens, calendars, laptop, and ice water, and got comfortable.

First, I had to look up Miles's football schedule. Black ink for games and practices.

Next, I wrote down Eben's work schedule (blue ink, bottom left corner of the boxes to mark each day scheduled and what shift).

Next, I tried to work on Dave's work schedule (black ink to keep Dave and Miles in the same color family ... color family is important because they are family, ya know?). Since Dave's schedule is still something I can't quite put my head around, I must wait for him to assist me.

Next, I took my red Sharpie pen (oh how I love Sharpie pens!) and recorded important dates for work and life itself...what week of the quarter it is (recorded numerically at the top of the Monday slot and circled), special birthdays (lots of them coming up in the family!), and then other commitments we already have (golf outings, nail appointments, meetings, etc.).

Next, I went online and looked at the schedule for Ella's dance. Here, this is where it happened. I realized that there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to be here and there and present for two activities on the same days at the same times for both kids. I feel like a gingerbread man about to be broken in two.

Ella can't do dance until Miles is done with football because we will either miss dance classes or miss football games because it is geographically impossible for me to be in Zanesville at 5 for dance and in Claymont (or elsewhere traipsing around the green earth because Miles plays in a league I have never even heard of...and that league includes some crazy schools I have never heard of, let alone know where they might be) at 5 for a football game.

This beast schedule of ours makes me appreciate my parents even more. I have no earthly idea how they had three kids, close in age, involved in dance, cheerleading, sports, etc., and held down full-time jobs.

It's a blessing, though, that our lives are busy. Aren't idle hands the devil's workshop?

All of these marks of ink in my calendar remind me how lucky I am...and to sleep now while I can before the crazy school year starts back up. Speaking of the school year, I have four more weeks without a set "work schedule." I am planning to enjoy the hell out of every minute I have left!

Wisdom to the Younger Me

2011-07-19T15:23:00.000-04:00

I read a long time ago about some people who had written letters to the younger version of themselves. Basically, the premise is that you would write a letter to the 13-year-old you (or whatever age you choose) but write it with the wisdom of your years and without giving away many details. I have been wondering what I would say to myself, what advice I would give, and what warnings I would include. So here is my letter to my 13-year-old self. Enjoy!

Dear Marcie:

Your hair will grow! I know you hate the short hair and regret cutting it off, but have no fear...it will grow back. Hair always does. And trust me, you are going to do lots of experiments with it - have fun! Your hair does not define you.

Stop goofing off in math! (Had to throw that in for good measure...)

Enjoy your teenage years; your 20s will bring more than enough responsibility.

Treasure the relationship you have with your siblings instead of fighting with them over trivial matters. At the end of the day, and at the end of life, all you have is your family. You will need to band together and face tough choices, but you will make the right ones if you do it together. One thing you have learned already (and something you will continue to rely on) is your strong bond to your family.

You are going to be hurt by people you love. There is no way around it. But you need to continue to believe that you are making the right decisions in life, even if they do not agree with you.

Success is coming your way, baby! First, you will need to get through college so save your money. Books are expensive! You need to learn to stand up for yourself, too, so pay close attention in human relations courses.

You will be totally overwhelmed by your inability to reach a dream. Do not, no matter what, beat yourself up over it. It's not going to be your fault and as soon as someone listens to you, you will find out why. You will then be overwhelmed by the blessings that rough time will bring...I promise!

Don't fret about getting older. You will age to perfection, and be happier than ever. With age comes wisdom and understanding. You will be living the life you designed for yourself, even if you feel somewhat unsure about your path. Embrace YOU!

Much love,
The 32-year-old version of you

Slacker!

2011-07-18T17:32:00.001-04:00

I'm a total slacker...I'm so sorry!

Ella and I are sitting here chillaxin and waiting for a storm to roll through. She is still in her nightgown! Lazy summer days I tell ya.

I needed to go to work today to pick up papers to be graded, but I didn't make it. The day isn't over yet, I know, but it almost seems crazy to get her dressed now, right? {I'm now patiently waiting for my Mother of the Year Award to be delivered...ahem.}

Since I did not officially announce it on here, I thought I should tell you that one of my goals for 2011 was to finally get the ink on the paper. I did. On June 20, in a 10-minute conversation in a stuffy room with stuffy attorneys, Eben and I officially ended our marriage. We are still very good friends who share mutual respect and love, and of course, our daughter. While no longer IN love, we will always love the other (at least that is the plan) because of our entwined past and our entwined future of raising our daughter together, yet apart.

I have also successfully read books this year. In fact, I read a really light, easy book called the Penny Pinchers Club, and it was awesome. It was a birthday present from a friend and I read it in one afternoon.

I haven't really created anything yet (another goal of mine for the year) except for a bunch of tears and your normal carbon footprint kind of thing. I bought a stepping stone kit for the kids last summer that we didn't get around to doing. I am thinking I will bust that out on Friday when we have a more relaxed day. It will be fun to let them get all messy.

As for my other goals, the only one I remember is getting in the kitchen more. I have to admit, I go to the kitchen to make a fresh drink and that's about it. Take out is so much more convenient (and frozen pizza).

We just got a downpour and it didn't even last long enough to make the deck wet. We have gotten into our summer rituals of sitting on the deck, spending time with friends and family, crashing pools (ha ha), playing cornhole, and chillaxing...easy living!

I have at least three different blog posts writing themselves in my head right now, so I hope to not be gone as long as I was this time.

Oh, and I'm currently loving http://pinterest.com/. Check it out if you have a few minutes...err...I mean hours...to spare...err...I mean waste. But it won't be a waste! I promise. TONS of ideas and inspiration!

Sick Baby

2011-02-21T22:45:00.002-05:00

So much for keeping this thing updated for the new year. Tonight, I will write to renew my commitment to myself to keep going and hopefully spark something within. I normally write for therapy (it's free), and I'm certain people will say that I haven't written because I haven't needed therapy. While that statement is not at all true, I have chosen to give myself therapy in other ways (like reading and just being in this world), but tonight I am compelled to write.

In some ways, my problems are too deep and personal for me to discuss in such a public forum...having others see the real me and then open myself to judgement scares me a little bit.

My little peanut is sick and has been sick for two days. I have stated before that divorce shouldn't be hard (and I still maintain that fact), but it isn't until something is actually real that you can experience certain moments in it. I'm experiencing Ella being sick and being with her dad. It's hard when all I want to do is cuddle her and keep her safe and spoil her with popsicles and soup and shhh...candy. And maybe even a new Barbie. Or some other toy she will play with for a few days and then drop into the toy box and forget until she unearths it three months from now. But that would be okay because she is sick.

It was hard hearing that her stand-in mommy made her soup yesterday and cuddled on the couch watching movies. It was hard hearing her say that her stand-in mommy took care of her. I realize that she is more than a stand-in mommy, and in fact, I am pleased with the choice Eben has made. It was just so hard because she was an hour away. It's not like I could drive across town to cuddle with her.

Haters would say, "It's not that far, Marcie. You should have been there for your child." But what would that have been saying to the other party? "I don't trust your judgement." "I don't think you can handle this."??? Would that have been fair? Would that have undermined him in some way to our daughter, the girl we chose to raise together even if we are apart?

I did, fortunately, get to cuddle with her at the doctor today. We adults worked together to decide to take her to the doctor, and we worked together on how to schedule the appointment to maximize the time Ella would be in town. I moved a mountain out of my way at work today so I could leave, attend the appointment, and get back to work in time for a meeting. I guess that is better than not knowing that she even had an appointment, right?

I have said it before, communication is key. The adults communicated about what is best for the little person involved. The adults showed their united front --- yet again --- to everyone including the doctor, the other adults involved, and most importantly, to the little person who makes the sun rise and set in our lives.

The emotions were pushed aside to do what was best for our child. The emotions were put away in their little brown paper sack (BPS) and brought back out only after the immediate issue was dealt with. Tonight, I dealt with those emotions. I cried because I was not sitting on MY couch cuddling with MY peanut. Then I thanked God because she was cuddling with her dad on his couch in the other place she is safe and sound and well cared for.

My BPS is a mixed bag, and slowly, as time goes on, I am able to deal with each emotion within. Progress.

Item #1 on shopping list: Toy for Ella.

Monday's Update

2011-01-17T10:25:00.002-05:00

I did it! I did it! I need a backpack and a zippy little Dora song!

Ella and I put dinner in the crockpot this morning. I did not touch the raw meat; I used a fork for that. WOOT!

The Christmas tree is now naked in the living room. Taking the ornaments off took a long time (well, I was distracted by the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), so I stopped before taking off the lights and actually dismantling the tree. :)

My BFF got some rocking news today and her excitement poured out of her texts. This BFF is super proud of that BFF. Like, totally proud!

The winter blues are knocking on the door, and in an effort to fight them off, tomorrow night's dinner will remind us of what we had for the 4th of July - grill and all.

Unfortunately, yesterday, I was reminded of how immature adults can be. Tsk, tsk. Big girl panties were put on, lips were zipped, and the drama was kicked to the curb. Avoidance is not normally my style, but it was the best for the situation. And you know what? I saw the line in the sand and knew I couldn't erase it, step over it, or ignore it. How is that for growth and maturity?

Another item on the resolution list was to get crafty again. The past few days I have spent some time looking at crafts, doing some research, and trying to figure out where this all will take me. Needless to say, excitement is pouring out of me right now, too. Making messes in the name of being creative is exciting!

My word for 2011 is Create. Create my future, create my memories, create experiences, create crafts, and create a place of love of warmth for family and friends. Totally doable! Check back here for more progress reports and maybe even to catch a glimpse of things I have been creating!

What I'm Doing

2011-01-15T10:34:00.003-05:00

currently, procrastinating on working on my to-do list. :)

I have been looking through recipe books this morning looking for meal ideas for the coming week. I get to hang out with the kids on Monday since we have a holiday from school/work. I am going to get out the crock pot and make something! WOOT. We might also do a little meal prep for the coming week since the kids will essentially be with us all week.

One of my resolutions is to find and perfect 12 new (to me) recipes this year. I am going to choose a pork crock pot recipe as my first one. There doesn't appear to be any touching of raw meat involved with this recipe, so I am pretty comfortable. lol

My to-do list today includes grading papers, preparing for classes on Tuesday, working on a big project for work, making the grocery list and going to the grocery, unloading/reloading dishwasher, dusting, running the sweeper, and the one I am ashamed of...{taking down the Christmas tree and decorations}.

Yes, the tree is still up. I love it so much that it depresses me just thinking of taking it down. The dog must be ready for it to come down, though, because she gave us a pretty big hint. She took it upon herself to eat quite a few of the lights off the bottom. lol

The dust is screaming my name...

Whereas

2011-01-03T13:11:00.002-05:00

I come from a world where the word "whereas" is used ten millllllliiiioooon times in resolutions. I thought it would be fun to title my resolution post with the word that has some funk, charm, and old-school style.

Welcome to 2011. Welcome one and all!

Oh, I forgot I didn't actually finish up/close out the year 2010. In a nutshell...

Laughter, friends, family, two beach vacations, landscaping, home improvement projects, work, work, work, road trips, laughter, friends, concerts, chillaxin, 31, three new wardrobes for Ella because she grew like a weed, pain, breaking, clouds, dark spots, bright and shiny spots, chasing balls, cornhole, riding a bike for the first time in YEARS, learning, growing, losing. And laughter.

Now, for 2011. I give you my "whereas" list.

Whereas, I will finish my bathroom this year.
Whereas, I will be the best mother I can be.
Whereas, I will finally have ink on those papers!
Whereas, I will continue to love with my whole heart.
Whereas, I will read at least six books this year (not textbooks!).
Whereas, I will clean out the home office and begin to use my craft supplies again.
Whereas, I will explore down deep in my soul to find what fuels it and then supply it with more food than it has ever received.
Whereas, I will learn and perfect 12 new (to me) recipes so I can spoil my family a little more.
Whereas, I will make time to just be in the moment with those I love and cherish. Unplug from life and just breathe in their scents, listen to their stories, and share new adventures with them.

How's that for ambition?

Happy 2011 to you and yours!

Oh, The Blessings

2010-12-27T16:51:00.002-05:00

As I sit here at the dining room table working away, I am reminded of the blessings in my life. Since the last update to my blog was so miserable (and kinda mean), I thought I would give you a feel for the blessings. You know, shake a little gold dust over top of the poop. Will it still smell like poop? Or will everyone love it because it is covered in gold? I don't know the answer to that, but I'm willing to give a little gold dust to you today.

I'm thankful for my life. Really, does this list even need to go on now? I mean, how many people just come in and say, "I'll take it all?" It never happens,, but it has happened to me. I'll take it all - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the totally-freaking-awesome. I'll take it. It does not even have to be wrapped in a pretty package with a bow on top. I don't require bows. I don't require pretty packages. I'm damn happy with getting the raw goods.

For those of you who prefer a list, here's a short one. It's only short because I am generic. Like a can of white with the black letters "Beer" across it. That generic.

Ella
Dave
Miles
Family
Friends I consider family
Things

There. That's it. And when I say Things, I don't really mean "things" like trinkets or knick-knacks or clutter that I have to dust. I mean I have the means to have things like take-out when I don't want to cook (which is ... hmm ... about every day) and when I need to get toilet paper at the good old Wal-Mart, I can. Those kinds of things. Everything else is just bullshit things and we keep that bullshit around to remind us of how hard we work for that money that we spend to buy that bullshit shit. Did that make sense? I have lived two lives in my adult life - one where I had the money for bullshit things and one where I didn't. You know what I learned? Bullshit things don't make you happy. True love does. And if someone wants to buy bullshit things and proclaim that his/her life is grand because of those bullshit things, then so be it. I love with my whole heart and I love fiercely. None of that is bullshit.

If you got through this bullshit post, just know that I don't mean everything is bullshit. I mean, toilet paper is awesome. Coffee creamer is awesome. Coffee is awesome. Friends and family are awesome. Being surrounded by people you love and love you in return...most awesome. (Notice I did not spell awesome wrong...not once!)

On My Mind...

2010-12-27T16:37:00.002-05:00

Thankfully, I was blessed with a filter. Now, now, friends, I know sometimes I do not use my filter, but at least I have one. I do, however, have lots of things I want to say, and I have done a very good job of keeping my opinions to myself. I have been the recipient of unwelcome opinions of late, so I think it is only fair that I allow myself to puke out my opinions. Since very few people read my blog, I am posting it here instead of elsewhere. I may link to my blog today, so if you happen to read this from a link on Facebook and you do not believe you are someone who has pissed me off recently, then let it go. Do not, and I repeat, do not, allow anything I say to get to you. I am most likely not talking about anyone who would be reading this. I promise. I swear. I even pinky swear. That’s serious in the world I live in, you know. Pinky swears are, like, serious shit. Like elephant shit. That serious. I swear. I mean, I pinky swear.

I’m getting some things off my chest. Ignore me. Or listen. It’s your choice. Remember what I said, though. This is most likely not about you. Are we cool? Yes. Yes, we are very cool. I love removing my filter when I can.

You are pathetic and fake. You have nothing all that important to say, anyway.
I dislike the way you have treated people to get to where you are.

I am not the one to blame for your misery.

You need to get a grip.

If you want to be more judgmental, I can refer you to a special place for those people. I’m sure they would welcome you with open arms, as long as you give them my name as a reference.

You deserve better! Go! Run! Get out of there, fast!

You, you, and you…be nice! You really do need to get along better.

She does not deserve that title any more than I do. Thankyouverymuch.

Why can’t you answer a damn email?

Why did I pay you to do that when I could have gotten it better for free? I’m so stupid.

There. I feel better. You can go back to your normal programming now.

To the Moon, Alice!

2010-10-03T09:13:00.004-04:00

Normally, fall strikes me with panic and angst. I'm proud to report that this fall has so far not kicked my booty to Mars and back. (I was only kicked to the county line and back.) I feel sane, happy, and blessed. About a year ago, I started living life one day at a time to savor the smells, sights, and feelings; to fill my heart with all things good. And who can argue about how good things are?

I'm blessed with an amazing daughter who will be 4 soon. Momma's girl is growing up! Right or wrong, she is still sleeping in her crib. She has been ready for her big-girl bed for quite a long time, but momma has not been. I went into her bedroom this morning to run the sweeper and all around, I saw the signs that my baby girl is not a baby anymore. Gone are the blocks and baby supplies. They have been replaced with Barbie, paints, and cooking toys. Gone are the onesies; they have been replaced with pretty dresses and rocker-girl shirts. Gone are the diapers; Ella has the best collection of cool little girl panties.

I'm blessed with an amazing boyfriend. At times I feel silly being 31 and having a boyfriend. It sounds juvenile sometimes. But no matter what label I use, he is still amazing. He reminds me that happiness is within, located right next to beauty. I read a book this week that was heartwrenching because one character found love...the kind of love that aches deep inside. The kind of love that lasts a lifetime. The kind of love like I have. And tragedy struck and she was in pain because of that love. It's the kind of love that is within you...rooted deeply not only in your heart, but in your head, bones, breath. The kind of love that makes you crazy in love.

I'm blessed with an amazing bonus son. Even as I am learning where my place in his life is, it's a blessing that I get to figure that out. I am proud of him and enjoy being with him. we get to hang out together through the day while Dave works, and we have a great time. He is an awesome kid who loves Ella as if she were his biological sister. I enjoy watching them interact, and he's a good sport about playing with her and being patient with her. I love watching her watch him. She looks up to him (literally and figuratively) and he is very aware that she does this.

I observe with a big smile on my face. I live life with a full heart. I enjoy each moment each day brings, and I think that is why I'm not going to get kicked by fall this year.

Communication is Key

2010-09-06T08:58:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my first installment in the series "Divorce Doesn't Have to Be Hard." I'm not sure where this series will take me, if I'll ever post another installment, or if this will become a separate blog on its own. It is absolutely something I have been wanting to do for quite some time, and I want to start with a disclaimer that these are my thoughts only. My only "training" in this area came from the School of Life. So here goes.

Raising children is difficult.

It's difficult when the parents live in the same household, eat meals at the same time, and live life together. It exponentially gets more difficult when those parents separate and no longer have unlimited access to each other.

This is when our communication becomes more important than anything in relation to the child. BOTH parents must put aside their anger and focus on the child. BOTH parents must acknowledge that the other parent has ideas and plans and wants and needs and they must BOTH be free with expressing those and listening to the other parent. When ideas start getting kicked around, communication should immediately begin, especially if the idea is going to in some way impact the other parent.

For example, Eben and I have a very different "custody" arrangement than normal because it is based on his work schedule. Essentially, Ella is with him every day he is off. I have a calendar that contains my life (heaven forbid I ever lose it!) and I know at a glance if she is with me or him on any given day. However, since life is all about change, I have to be willing to adjust my life and schedule at times to accommodate Eben working overtime. As soon as he knows about overtime, he calls me or sends an email so that I am aware and can prepare for it.

There have also been times when I have had to leave town for a conference on days he is supposed to work. I immediately call him and give him the dates so we can adjust our schedules.

There will always be some give and take involved when you are raising children together but separately. BOTH parents must respect the other's time with the children and notify each other PRIOR to setting firm plans.

Another example: I wanted to sign Ella up for dance lessons. I looked at the schedule, checked my own schedule, and consulted with Eben BEFORE I ever sent in a registration. I gave him the day and time options that were available and we chose the day and time for the lessons together. He knew up front that he would be responsible for bringing her to dance lessons on the Saturday mornings she was with him. He gave me the okay to sign her up. We even took her together in the same car for her first class. I expect this communication to continue in this way when we make decisions regarding sports, activities, and even school functions in the future.

The bottom line is that you have to communicate with the other parent. If perhaps communication was one of the problems in your relationship, you may need to adjust the way in which you communicate. Both parents need to realize this and focus on making the best of a bad situation for the child's sake.

Funny Girl...

2010-09-05T08:45:00.000-04:00

Bed Head

2010-09-05T07:30:00.002-04:00

I was inspired to write this post while in the bathroom this morning...looking in the mirror at my crazy-perfect bed head. At 5 a.m.

Once a month, Dave and I have a week where the house is quiet, we have no schedule, and the dishwasher fills with coffee cups instead of plates and forks. {It's that silver lining thing again.} We miss our kids (aka children for those of you more formal than I) very much when they are not with us. We miss the high activity level in the house - we miss the noise of life with two kids. We miss playing dress up and cooking green pepper soup in Ella's bedroom; we miss hearing the (sometimes-annoying) buzzing of Miles's cell phone. It's just...quiet.

On the flip side, we enjoy our freedom. Our freedom from ensuring the kids are properly fed, bathed, brushed, and presentable. Our freedom from picking up their dirty clothes, empty cups, and random toys. Our freedom to socialize with friends in an adult setting.

Last night was one of those nights. We ate dinner out with friends to celebrate a birthday and then went to our favorite adult establishment down by the river. We sat on the patio, listened to the DJ, and drank our cold adult beverages in a responsible fashion. And laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

It was freeing. And glorious.

We had to leave earlier than we wanted, because even though we were free, we were not free from responsibility. Dave has started a job where he works all weekends, and those mornings begin at 4:30. We needed sleep.

The house is where we can be totally free. We reconnect here; we build memories here. We live here; we love here.

It was the perfect crisp, almost-fall night. All of the windows were closed except two in the bedroom (I wanted to let in a little cool air, but did not wish to make it polar ice cap in here). We climbed into bed and I snuggled up to my love. There is this spot on Dave's chest that is my spot to put my head. It is located just below his shoulder, and I fit there perfectly. My anatomy-geek friends (whom I love dearly) probably know the proper term for this piece of real estate on Dave's chest; however, I call it my spot. (And wouldn't that be weird if I called it my spot and that spot on every man's chest was called my spot? I would have to go around signing that spot on every man because it was named after me. I'd never get anything done.)

I curled up, kissed Dave good night, and fell into the most relaxing sleep. Ever.

It was a deep sleep, filled with nothing but sleeping. I had no dreams (that I can recall) and did not wake until the alarm(s) went off at 4:30. When I wiped the sleep from my eyes and walked into the bathroom, I noticed that my bed head this morning was perfect. My hair looked better at 5 a.m. than it did last night when we were out on the town. I woke up in a state of perfection, after having a perfect night's sleep.

{bliss}

Super Saturday

2010-08-28T07:52:00.000-04:00

Siesta Key, FL. 8/17/10. {love}

RAWR!

2010-08-28T07:18:00.002-04:00

It happened! It happened!

No, not that elusive, only-ever-talking-about-it, never-happening, hard-to-attain size 6.

No, not *that*, either.

No, I didn't win a Pulitzer.

No, I didn't prepare a 3-course meal for my family. (Does McD's count when you get a sandwich, fries, and a drink?)

No, no lottery winnings...

Okay...are you ready?

I became a momma bear, ready and willing to attack for the sake of my kids.

Wednesday, Miles was playing in his first 8th grade football game, and he took a cheap shot (late hit in the back) by another player (#20, I don't know your name, but I have your number!). I watched it happen, saw Miles get up, and I suddenly had the urge to run out to the field and tackle that #20 (did you hear me? I have your number!). Luckily, my rational, logical side kept me sitting still...sitting on that bleacher as if I had super glue stuck to my ass.

Then, last night Ella called to tell me goodnight (she's at Eben's for the weekend). In our conversation, we chit chatted for a few about radom things and she finally says, "Mommy, guess what happened?" I said, "Tell me baby. Tell mommy what happened." She then proceeds to tell me that she fell down on the wet floor at "Bob Heavens" (Bob Evans) and hurt her mouth. I asked how hurt is hurt. She told me it was all bloody. Instantly, my stomach rolled, mouth went dry, and those floor moppers at Bob Heavens should thank their ever-lovin' lucky stars that I was in Newark and not Zanesville or I would have beat them to death with their mop.

Granted, the rational, logical side of me says that she probably did not heed the "Warning: Wet Floor" sign (she is, after all, almost four and not truly able to read signage that warns of imminent danger). However, my baby was hurt, and someone was going to pay for it. That's the primal instinct of a momma bear.

YAY!

Slipping Away

2010-08-21T14:45:00.002-04:00

Today, looking out the front window, I looked closely at the leaves already on the ground and the changing colors still in the trees. It won't be long until fall comes. Fall...oh fall. Fall makes me crazy. The leaves falling make me want to dig my nails into the last remaining days of summer and make them stay around a little longer.

Stay longer so I can enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the easy pace of no real schedules. Stay longer so I can enjoy my tank tops, bikini, and shorts. Stay longer so I can wear flip flops and forget about the 45+ pairs of high heels in the closet for a little bit.

Fall coming makes me pace in circles; makes me want to clean my house with the windows open one last time. Fall coming makes me want to stay awake later so I can enjoy the warm temps more and get more time on the deck.

For the next few weeks, if you need me, find me on the deck...soaking it all up and enjoying the last remants of summer. Of course, in my tank top, flip flops, and shorts. I'll be working on keeping my tan a little longer.

Hot Summer Nights

2010-08-19T15:09:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile yet again. Sigh. I can't get blog followers if I don't give them something to read. Once again, I'm going to try to be a better blogger and write more. I have found that writing does something for me... calms me... allows me to express myself... puts my thoughts and feelings out for the world to see.

We just returned from an awesome vacation last night. We took the kids to Siesta Key for our first family vacation. Miles is ready to leave Zanesville behind; pack his iPod, cell phone, and swim trunks and take off forever. Ella wants to collect seashells by the seashore (or oceanside) for the rest of her life. Dave and I just want to escape this small town and the small minds that reside here.

Many things about vacation reminded me of how lucky I am...lucky to be on vacation at all, lucky to have family as awesome as mine, lucky to be in love with a wonderful man and his son, and lucky to see the world through the eyes of an almost-four-year-old (as she told everyone she met!).

My aunt gave me a picture of my grandparents while I was at her house. It's a picture I will forever treasure. A picture that shows them both with their heads back laughing. Even though the picture does not show their eyes, I can see the twinkle there. I can see my grandparents in a happy, joyful time, and I will forever have this picture to show to my own grandchildren when I tell them about my grandparents and how special they were to me. So precious.

Today, we have taken it easy. We have been depressed to not be on vacation anymore. I have spent time looking at houses for sale at the beach and thinking about what it will take for us to have a vacation place of our own. Anyone interested in purchasing a beach house with us? We'll share! lol

Thankful Thursday

2010-03-25T10:11:00.002-04:00

My list for Thankful Thursday:

Warm, sunny days spent with friends and family.
Hamburgers prepared by the grill master Dave to celebrate warm, sunny days.
Ella's new love of entertaining everyone with music and dance. I love hearing her make up new songs and watch her do crazy dances on the coffee table.
ViSalus products that are assisting me in getting healthier (and skinnier!).
The Internet. I fear that I take this awesome invention for granted these days since I have access to it in every room in my house and on my cell phone.
Daffodils. Ella loves to pick them for all of her friends and for her mommy.

I'm out of here to enjoy the sunshine!

Grammar Goddess Speaks Again

2010-03-25T10:01:00.002-04:00

Ew. I try really, really hard to not judge others for doing simple things they should have learned not to do in elementary school. I try very hard to be judgement-free in my daily life. I try really hard to live and let live.

Ew. I'm not proud of today's grammar lesson. I did decide to post here on this blog instead of on my facebook status so as not to offend my countless friends with what could appear as petty, self-righteous behavior.

Ew. I feel really icky right now. However, I must proceed.

Should've is a contraction for the words should HAVE, not should OF. When we speak and say should've, it does *sound* like should of, but that's not really what anyone is saying. When we hear should of, we are really hearing the contraction should've. All of this means that when we type something such as, "Renee should have called Mack to warn him of the impending doom," we should type should HAVE, not should OF.

There. I still feel icky, but I pat myself on the back for doing it here on this tiny blog that is not read by many rather than putting it out on facebook where my hoards of friends would feel as if I were making them feel stupid.

-GG

Sunday's Blessings

2010-03-14T12:35:00.003-04:00

It's been awhile since I have had a clear enough head to write. And my nails were too long to type. Now that I have picked off all of my fingernails (thus clearing my head), I feel as though I can sit and type away about nothing.

Or something. Whichever you prefer.

I am loving the warmer temps, sunshine, and the daffodils that are poking up through the ground. Spring is almost here, which means summer will follow soon behind. My deck is calling my name...I'm looking forward to sitting out there and enjoying the fresh air, sunshine, and conversations with friends and family that always take place.

Ella is growing, smarter than ever, and excited to plant flowers. She is desperate for a fish; however, she informed me that she wants a tilapia so she can eat it later. I'm not so sure she understands that pets are not for eating. :)

Miles is desperate for us to purchase a hot tub. Apparently, that will up our status in his eyes and make us extremely cool. He already has plans for how the deck and backyard entertaining areas can be set up to maximize the fun.

Dave and I are enjoying life, learning how to live on a budget, and figuring out the whole cooking thing. It amazes me how we have integrated our lives, our children, and our collective futures in such a short amount of time. I am also amazed at how quickly our children have adapted to us and to each other. Just last night, Miles was excited about Ella watching him play football and being one of his cheerleaders this fall.

I am truly blessed.

December 11, 2006 - As I remember it

2009-12-10T12:44:00.008-05:00

To follow yesterday's post of memories from three years ago, this is the third anniversary of Ella's birth.

Eben came home from work, we had breakfast, and since I was still on bedrest, I took full advantage and was lazy all morning. I took the dog out but that was about it.

I had a doctor's appointment that morning (as usual for a Monday) at 11:30. I was always the last appointment before lunch. Knowing that I would be hungry when I left, I made lunch plans with Tiffany for afterward. We were to go eat some pasta and then do a quick trip to Wal Mart to pick up essential items. (I was sneaking there since I wasn't supposed to be going anywhere...but I was going crazy being at home.)

Harley dog would not come back inside for me, so I ended up having to wake up Eben to have him help me. He was not amused (remember what I said yesterday about Eben not knowing we even had a puppy?). I left for the doctor with some peanut butter crackers in my purse in case I would be there for awhile.

The first order of the appointment was to lie in a chair and have a non-stress test performed. I was reading a book and chatting with Alice about the book. She would come in and check the printout, chat with me, ask a few questions, and then leave. She did this about four times in the course of 20 minutes. Once she brought Dr. Downing in with her. He looked at the printout. They left. He came back. Asked a few questions. I knew something was wrong.

My heart sank. I was scared. I didn't know why I was scared or what was wrong. But I just knew something was.

He came back to the room and looked me right in the eye and said, "You are going to have this baby today." I was so shocked because I knew I wasn't in labor. So why did he think that? Then he explained what was wrong, and I went from shock to fear to excitement to fear to shock. We went to his office to talk about our plan for the day. I begged him to let me go home to pack a bag. I wanted to see Harley dog. I wanted to wake up Eben and tell him in person. I was not permitted to leave. I was wearing my favorite black maternity shirt that day. And my favorite maternity jeans. And my hair looked awesome. And I had peanut butter crackers in my purse. I wasn't allowed to eat them, but they were there.

I had to go out and sit in the office while he made some phone calls. I had to call Eben. I hoped he would wake up and answer the phone. Finally, after calling three times, he heard the phone and picked up. He was scared when he heard my voice; I think I was scared hearing my voice, too. I told him we were going to have our baby that day. He asked me to repeat what I had just said. So I did. Then he said, "Does this mean I need to call off work?" I will never forget that quote as long as I live. I gently explained that since were headed to surgery at 5:30, he would need to at least call to say he would be late. Ha ha.

I walked to L & D and called Tiffany to cancel our lunch date.

I got to my room and the nurses started getting me ready and prepped. I had bloodwork done, an IV inserted, and met a hospitalist who was supposed to manage my blood sugar while I was waiting for surgery. Eben came with the essentials - some clothes for me, the camera, and my toothbrush. The nurse allowed me to brush my teeth after I promised her that I would not swallow any water.

My mom called in the midst of this. She wanted to know where I was. Our conversation went like this:

Mom: Where are you?

Me: At the hospital.

Mom: Oh, how long will you be there?

Me: Until Thursday, probably.

Mom: WHHHHHAAAAATTTTT? Oh my God. I'll be right up. Haveyoucalledanyone?Doesanyoneknowyouarethere? IsEbenwithyou? Doyouneedanything?

(There it is, ladies and gentlemen...the source of my hysterics...lol)

It wasn't long, a few minutes, really, before my entire family and the patrons of Tumbleweed knew that I was going to have a baby. :) (Mom happened to be at Tumbleweed eating a late lunch.)

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. People in and out. Almost dying twice. Poking and prodding. Shaving. Pictures. Almost dying twice.

Did I mention I almost died twice? Yeah. Remember that guy I was telling you about earlier? The one who was supposed to manage my blood sugar before surgery? That guy? Well...he kept putting insulin into my system through an IV and I wasn't eating anything. My blood sugar dropped below 40 twice within 30 minutes. I have never been so sick in my life. Hard to believe that Ella was born with low blood sugar, isn't it?

Anyway. Back to happiness.

I was taken for surgery earlier than planned because Dr. Downing got finished that day earlier than he had planned. My drug man, Chris, was awesome. The waiting room was full of friends and family. My sister pushed my bed until she got stopped by the nurse. I got a spinal, and life was awesome. I giggled so much they had a hard time getting me down on the bed into the correct position. Eben came in then, dressed in his scrubs, and looking quite scared.

At 5:05 p.m., I saw her. Dr. Downing lifted her up so I could see her. She was covered in goo but her eyes were so bright. Eben was snapping pictures. The lullaby played in the hospital so everyone would know she was born.

The next few hours were painful as hell. Pain I can still remember three years later. Opening my eyes somehow affected my stomach. I never learned in any science course that your eyelids were connected to your stomach, but I swear mine were that day.

But you know what? It was all worth it. And I did get to take some kick-ass pills to kill the pain.

I brought home a perfect bundle of joy. A beautiful baby girl.

Last week, I cleaned out the purse I had been carrying that day. I found my peanut butter crackers.

Three years of memories

2009-12-10T12:12:00.002-05:00

Three years ago today, I had a normal day for me. It was Eben's birthday, and he was working midnights. Ate breakfast. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Ate lunch while Eben slept. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Checked blood sugar. Ate pizza for supper with BFF and Patt. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Played with Harley dog. Slept all night.

This was a pretty normal day in month 9 of my pregnancy. Swollen feet and all.

I had no idea that night when I went to bed that I would never sleep as soundly as I did that night again. I had no idea of the love that was possible in my heart. I had no idea how damn good it would feel to be called Mommy. I had no idea how much I would miss feeling a baby kick my ribs and bladder hundreds of times a day.

There are so many memories that have been running in my mind the past few weeks...from the "before Ella" time of my life.

I still remember how I told my friends and family about being pregnant. I remember Tiffany calling me on the phone to say congratulations. I remember sitting on the floor in my hallway scraping wallpaper (nesting as some would call it; stupidity is more like it) talking to her on the phone.

I remember the first belly picture that was taken at Tom's birthday party in August. I remember shopping for maternity clothes, baby furniture, baby bedding, baby gear, more maternity clothes, and more baby gear. I remember being in the Valley of Fire State Park walking on a trail in 110 degree weather in August.

I remember when I saw Harley dog as a puppy and fell in love. I remember waking up Eben to tell him we had to go pick up our puppy. (He was not amused as he didn't know we even had a puppy...) I remember potty training Harley Dog. Everyone told me it was great practice for having a baby. (For the record, Ella has only peed on the floor once; I can't say the same for Harley Dog.)

I remember the baby showers. Every minute of them. I remember the tiny pink clothes. I remember the tiny diapers. I remember the way the clothes smelled. I remember the way the lotions smelled.

I remember the anticipation. The excitement. The unknown that was coming. I remember when we found out we were having a girl. I remember naming her officially on the plane ride to Reno in August. (Well, I think *I* officially named her many years ago and then told Eben what she would be called.)

I remember that I was so excited to see snow that year. I remember that seeing snow meant Ella would be arriving soon. I remember it was warm the day I gave birth and did not snow for a week.

I remember we had friends over to celebrate Eben's birthday early. I remember breaking up Angel food cake and mixing it with sugar-free pudding so I could have a sweet treat that wouldn't send my blood sugar through the roof. I remember stirring that, giggling, and being nervous as hell that I would soon have to prepare food for someone other than myself (and not just eat popcorn for supper).

I remember the next night going to John and Pam's house to celebrate Tom's graduation from Franklin. I remember I had a half glass of wine. It was Concord. It was yummy.

I remember the next day (Saturday, December 9) not getting around too well because my feet were so swollen. I had to rest. I think I remember reading a book.

All of these memories have been crashing into my head as I look at my daughter...my almost-three-year-old daughter. She has no baby fat anymore. She looks like a person instead of a baby. A tiny version of me. A tiny version of her dad. A great mix of the two of us.

Tonight, we will gather as a family to celebrate her third birthday. I can't believe that time has gone by so quickly.

2009-12-07T13:45:00.002-05:00

Living inspired is born in the awareness that this is it! We have one chance at life. And the wonderful gift we are given every morning is the choice of how we are going to live that moment, that day.
~Sally Cofer-Lindberg

I saw this quote today in my inbox (you can subscribe to a daily inspirational message by clicking here) and it made me start to think of how I am choosing to spend my days. Do I want to spend them happy or angry? Sad and hurt or happy and positive?

People who choose to live negatively are not only buzzkills for those of us who are happy, but they create darkness and breed negativity wherever they go. Reminds me of that old saying of how we all make people smile; some when we come and some when we go.

Some people would rather stew in bitterness and hate than to make a choice to go ahead and walk down the happy road.

I also don't think it was a coincidence to see this quote on a Monday morning...with all of the complaining about hating Mondays...we all know that Monday comes every week. We should be thankful we get to see another one, don't you think?

Some Great Quotes

2009-11-24T11:34:00.001-05:00

About belief, happiness, and passion...

What happens when you believe something with all your heart? Belief fuels enthusiasm, and determined enthusiasm explodes into passion. It fires our souls and lifts our spirits.
~Mac Anderson

The components of happiness are quite simple. Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now. In its true form each quality includes all the rest, for happiness is whole, and one feels whole when genuinely happy.
~Hugh Prather

Only you can make you happy.
~Marty Martinson

Thankfulness

2009-11-24T09:58:00.009-05:00

Listening to Bob and Sheri’s annual “I’m thankful for” chatroom today (bobandsheri.com) made me start to think of the things I have to be thankful for in 2009. There have been surprises, triumphs, challenges, and hard times; however, I have made it out on the other side with a new attitude and pride. I present my list for 2009:

Of course, first on the list is Ella Grace. We have had an amazing year together. I am thankful each day that she is a bright, delightful little girl.

This is my boyfriend, Dave. I love him. We are awesome together, and no one can take that away from us. No one. We laugh together, love together, and live life together. As long as he is by my side, I can handle anything.

Of course, this is Ella again with Eben. Yes, I'm thankful for him too. Some may think it is weird for me to publish a photo of the man I married under the photo of my boyfriend, but these two men are important in my life and I am thankful for them both. Hands down, I am most thankful that Eben is Ella's father. He loves her more than anything else in this world. He is the best dad. Ever. He is teaching her all of the things I don't know anything about and making her a well-rounded child in the process.

I am also thankful that we are a "model" for other divorced parents. I was told that I should write a book about how to treat an ex when raising children. Truly, divorce doesn't have to be hard. We are living examples of that. Maybe when I get going on writing again, I will start to write blog entries about our experiences to share with others.

I'm thankful for my BFF. She is Ah-May-Zing! No matter what, no matter when, no matter anything...she's there for me. We have laughed so hard this year our stomachs have hurt (and certainly we have gotten more wrinkles!). She has picked me off the floor (not literally because I'm so much bigger than she is) and kicked me in the butt when I needed it. No judging. Ever. She's the best.

My parents have recently started playing cards with Dave and me. This picture was taken when they beat us the first time. I'm thankful for the laughs and also for the butt kicking they gave us. It humbled me and made me step up my game a little bit. I also realized that it's not really always about winning or losing. What a lesson to learn!

Let's not forget the other things that are "gimmies": health, the means to live life, family, friends, and a job that fills me full each day. I got to take some trips this year - back to New Orleans and Chicago - attended an OSU football game - purchased some cool jewelry - turned 30 - WILL FINISH my master's degree in a few weeks - purchased some awesome shoes - learned how to use an electric sander - spent so much time on my deck that I forgot what the inside of my house looked like - visited with family near and far - and learned tons about myself.

I'm a happy girl. And I'm thankful for all of my blessings - big and small - on this Thanksgiving.

{{{Waving}}}

2009-08-17T21:58:00.002-04:00

Whoa. Haven't been around here for awhile. I have been busy riding around on this ferris wheel of life.

Turned 30. You know...have too many things to remember in my advanced age that I forgot about writing for a bit. A book I just finished this morning made me remember this blog existed. I have plants that are dying outside because I forget to water them and I have no excuse because I see them everyday. Heck, Ella asks for food on a regular basis and I still forget to feed her (just kidding, Mom).

So I bought some new shoes today. Well...they are actually boots. Black ones. And they are awesome. I can't wait for cooler weather so I can wear them.

This book I finished reading is called Firefly Lane (I don't know how to do fancy hyperlinks or anything...just go to Amazon and search for it). It's a very large book (are they called novels?) that I could not put down. Except to feed my daughter and shower. And clean the house. And go to work. And and and...you get the point. It took me a few weeks to read it, but I am proud of myself for doing it. When I realized one day that I was on page 200 and I remembered every part of the story, the characters, and their stories, I had one of those lightbulb moments. You know the ones that make you wake up and say, "I did it!" I am able to read now - rather, to focus on something longer than five minutes. I think I'm on the road to reading recovery. Woot!

In honor of now being able to read again, I picked up two new books at the bookstore today. I can't wait to jump in.

I'm going to focus on writing. It really helps. I can feel myself starting to relax a little bit. Maybe tonight I will sleep longer than a few hours? One can hope.

Change Changes Everything

2009-04-05T13:51:00.001-04:00

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed of giving up on something that I had always wanted because I knew my own limitations.

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed that I would be learning and growing as much as I am now.

Six months ago, I never would have understood exactly what “the end of my rope” felt like.

Six months ago, I never would have emptied, reloaded, and reemptied the dishwasher in the course of two hours.

Six months ago, I never would have known my true strength.

Six months ago, I never would have admitted that comfort is not what should dictate choices in life.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that a shopping spree was not a weekend ritual but something that needed to be saved for and planned out in advance. (Or that I would need to purchase pants two sizes smaller.)

Six months ago, I never would have felt tortured knowing that I had to go two-and-a-half days without getting kisses and love from my daughter, let alone seven.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that the road to happiness was filled with as many pot holes and slow drivers as it is.

I realize now that I am stronger than I thought, I am more loved than I thought, and that I am right where I am supposed to be. The choices and decisions I have made have led me here, and while right now I have given up control of a few situations, I realize that I have done everything I was *supposed* to do, even if I didn’t realize it before. I have learned that letting go will not change the outcome, even if that outcome is not completely what I would have wanted or would have chosen. It is the outcome that is supposed to be.

Clarity. Peace. Serenity.

A Perfect Day with a Perfect Friend

2009-02-22T08:29:00.001-05:00

This is my BFF, Tiffany aka Lindsey, on our lunch trip on Saturday. Aren't we hotttttt?

What you can't see in this picture are all of the laughs we shared, waiting in line forever at the bank, the scary drive to lunch with the old dude falling asleep at the wheel, Tiffany's hair sticking to the seat as if it were a balloon, bartering for chapstick, and the deep conversation we shared later during dinner. Tiffany always knows just what to say. We have a lot of fun analyzing situations and making determinations about people and events that have shaped our lives. She has a big heart and feels everything deep inside and shows her emotions.

We laughed so hard we coughed and choked (or chocked as she has been known to do...ha ha) while trying to make a decision on the phone of "scrub or leave." (In case any of you reading this have heard the quote, "My lungs are bleeding," you will be happy to know that "scrub or leave" will be used over and over again just as MLAB has been.) We also talked, albeit briefly, about the reason we became such good friends to begin with. We really only have to say one word and we both go back in time and think about it. That was a drama-filled point in both of our lives, but we came out ahead, intact, and with a best friend. What more could we have asked for?

I know what I am asking for...one more day like Saturday.

With a few timing modifications.

And more pickles on my cheeseburger.

Love you, girl!

Manic Monday's Grammar Lesson

2009-02-16T18:56:00.004-05:00

Class, today we will cover a lot. I mean, literally, a lot. And alot. And also allot. Pay attention.

This is very important.

A lot means many or frequently. I have received a lot of presents in my life. She does that a lot.

Allot means to distribute or to give or assign as one's share. She was alloted her share of his millions. (Don't I wish!)

Alot is NOT a word. Ever. Erase it. Forever.

And ever.

Your assignment is to run to the nearest chalkboard and write, "I will not use alot ever again" 500 times.

I have a full cabinet of chalk. I will mail it to you if you can't find any.

--Grammar Goddess

Those Defining Moments

2009-02-15T15:14:00.002-05:00

Is it possible to have a moment in your life (or in my case, an entire day) that was *the* defining moment and still wish it had never happened? What would my life be like if it had not happened? Would I be the same person? Would I be where I am today? Would I have learned the same things from other events/moments that I learned from that one?

If things happen for a reason, when do people get to find out what the reason is/was? Or is that something that we as human beings aren't ever permitted to be clued in on? Is that part of the secret to the universe?

I read a blog the other day that listed a "do-over" list. I got to thinking about what would be on mine. And, really, it is quite small.

I would have continued to play softball instead of deciding it wasn't worth it. Or I would have whined and cried a lot more so my parents would have let me play baseball because I was even better at that sport.
I would take back one sentence I spoke in May of 1997. Just one.
I would have gone to Myrtle Beach with my friends after graduation instead of choosing to stay home and work.
I would have ignored an email from August 2004. Totally ignored it. As if it got lost in cyberspace.
I wish I would have learned to stand up for myself sooner in life. Maybe I wouldn't still be carrying anger around from ancient history.
I never would have cut my hair off two years ago.
I would have fought a little harder to keep a friendship. But I didn't know how to fight for it. I didn't even know I had to until it was too late. So I guess I wish I would have known that trouble was coming so I could be prepared. Or perhaps prevented it.

I doubt that any of these things would have changed anything in my life as it is now, but perhaps I could have avoided some of the bad stuff. Or at least some of the things that I obsess over.

Lead me not into temptation...

2009-02-10T15:24:00.003-05:00

Oh no. I'm in trouble.

I have mentioned before my love affair with Sabon, the awesome store Tiger and I found in Chicago. I made a large purchase while I was there. I sent my friend to the store when he was there visiting in December to make another purchase for me.

I love their products.

I was sitting at work today minding my own business and my phone rang. It was the girl from Sabon. Temptress.

She was calling to tell me about a special offer. An offer only available to their very best customers. An offer that can't be found anywhere else.

Free shipping. On a $50 order. No sales tax on a phone order.

I went down the hall to get willpower. Will was not available. Tiger provided nothing. Tiger got online to make her list.

As soon as Tiger gives me her list, I'm going to make mine. Don't I deserve something new from my favorite store?

I have not purchased anything for myself in months. Perhaps this will be a "payment" for not having my nails put back on yet?

Time to shop!

Moving Day!

2009-01-28T10:16:00.002-05:00

I have all of my belongings packed up...

In a small, empty Pampers box...

I'm moving to gmail.

I'm scared.

What if my friends don't receive my change of address card?

What if I miss important information because managing three email accounts, one facebook, one blog, and countless other logins/passwords/freaking crazy combinations of letters and numbers and security questions and retina recognition software is about to drive me insane?

I guess I will deal.

On the bright side, I did not break a sweat today. Whew. Easiest move I have ever made.

Like Mother...Like Daughter

2009-01-25T14:55:00.003-05:00

I'm frightened. Scared out of my mind.

She's just like me. Mini-Marcie.

I have heard that I should think of myself, double it, and that is what I'm going to have with my daughter. She's going to the basement when she is 5. I will feed her, bathe her, and allow some daylight to get to her...but that's it. (Of course this is a joke... no need to come and take her from me. But I'm really scared.)

Proof positive:

She went to the drawer where I keep the koozies and selected one. Then she put her sippy cup in it. Oh my.

Can you see why I am scared? I know I didn't know what a koozy was until I was at least 7 or 8. She's 2.

Goodbye to an old friend

2009-01-24T19:08:00.003-05:00

I did it. Yesterday. I said goodbye to an old friend.

My nails. *sob*

I have had these nails on since the spring of 2001 with a short, one-month exception in the fall of 2002. But I had them. The same person has been doing them since November 2002. Every three or four weeks. A shiny new coat of red nail polish. Beautiful nails.

I took eight of them off myself over the course of a few days (nerves, I think). Then I had Becky take them the rest of the way off and clean them up. Now I have short fingernails. And I feel ugly.

Hideous.

But the funny thing is that no one has noticed. Not one person.

Except me.

I have an appointment on Wednesday to have them put back on. I am weak. And I can't feel ugly right now.

One of those days

2009-01-24T19:00:00.002-05:00

Everyone in the ville was out driving Maple today. Crazy January day after people have been trapped inside and everyone chooses to be on Maple at the same time.

Went to Wal-Mart. Not my typical WM, the one on the north end. Went there b/c I thought it would be faster. Faster because I was headed that direction anyway. Faster b/c I could not imagine that everyone and their brother, mother, sister, and cousins would be there. (Hence the traffic on Maple, I think.) Why aren't all Wal-Marts set up the same? I did the Wal-Mart 500 today looking for chapstick. I also did it looking for gum, which I did finally find. But no luck on the chapstick. Heaven forbid I stop to ask for directions.

This morning I wanted to wash the salt off of my car so I went to the car wash. It was not working. I went back this evening after I left a birthday party, and it was working this time. Only it wasn't. I put my $7 in (splurged to have the undercarriage done too) and pulled in. I stopped. The lighted sign told me to back up. I did a hair. Then it said, "Thank you. Please exit." I paid $7 to pull into the car wash, back up, and then pull out. What? So then I had to go inside and get a code to get it washed. It actually worked the second time and now my car is shiny and clean. Whoop.

Speaking of the birthday party, I ate so much good food that I probably won't have to eat again for a week. Whoop.

Back to the list

2009-01-16T11:23:00.001-05:00

Not doing a good job of blogging often, eh?

Flannel PJs.
Blankets.
Living. {My} Life.

Happy Friday!

Fab Friday

2009-01-09T16:00:00.002-05:00

Today is my childhood best friend's 30th birthday. I went to see her for a few minutes today and gave her a card and a small gift from my gift closet that I had been saving for this exact day. I was going to send her flowers also, but I am glad that I did not. Her "desk" at work was covered in them. It was great to see her, and she called while on her way home/parent pick up/drop off at daddy's house and we talked for 1.5 hours. Just like when we were kids. Isn't that the best thing about childhood friends? The old friends (no, I didn't mean that she is OLD...just that she is an old friend) that you can pick up exactly where you left off with. The ones who know entirely too much about you and will tell you how YOU handled the situation long before you can formulate the words to tell HER how you did it. I love it!

So - happy birthday, Danielle. Ya old fart.

A few things for my list today:

Mascara. Without it, I would appear dead.
Idiots who work at Burger King. I paid someone else's bill today instead of my own. His was cheaper. In my defense, I didn't realize it until I got home.
1/2 and 1/2. Just makes my coffee taste so much better.
facebook.
Bob and Sheri in the mornings to get me going.

A short list today. I need to try to find the notes I have been writing down. It would be helpful if I could keep everything together in one spot. I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that.

Is it only Tuesday?

2009-01-06T22:29:00.002-05:00

Went back to work yesterday after a few weeks "off" and am so blasted tired tonight. It's only Tuesday. I swore it was Wednesday or Thursday already. Really. I did. I thought I slept through the end of the week and have the weekend staring at me again. Not so much.

I tried to be funny in class this morning and apparently I had had more coffee than my students because not many of them laughed at my jokes. Yes, jokes. I told multiple. By the time I had threatened them to laugh at least once or I would reduce all grades by multiple letters, I had a few chuckles. Do you think they were being kind? Oh well. It'll get better.

It can only get better. Trust me. I wanted to escape the classroom. But I was trapped. Like a monkey at the zoo.

On with my list.

Books and reading (can this count as one or two? I am thinking one since they are so closely related. We'll see when I get to number 99 and need one more. Then I might split them up. But it's my project so I can change the rules if I want.)
Coffee.
My red fingernails. I haven't listed that yet, have I?
My cell phone. It's red too. And it plays cool music. I love music.
Music. (I'm not cheating...it was really next.)
Flip flops in the summer and for house shoes.
Firewood. My house is warm. All the time. And I'm not paying a fortune in gas bills. Which is a good thing since I have no fortune. (Mom - could you perhaps hurry up and find yours so you can give it to me? Thanks!)
Paper. Any old kind of paper will do, but I particularly love pretty patterned papers for scrapbooking and card making. And post-it notes. And plain old notepaper. And any kind of wrapping paper, cards, gift tags, receipts, etc. I am always buried in a pile of paper. I love it. The way it smells and feels. Ahhhh...
Tiaras. Like old 80s hair - the bigger the better.
Photos. (See #8 regarding paper...if I can obsess that much about note paper, imagine how bad it is when I see people I love [even ones I don't] in a photo!)

Can you tell it is way past my bedtime and that I have had entirely too much coffee today? As if four cups were not enough before I left home today, I had another at work and then made another small pot (two cups) when I got home from work tonight. Whoa. I will be amazed if I sleep at all. Thankfully Wednesday is my early day and I do not have class tomorrow night! Thank goodness for conferences in Baton Rouge (where my prof will be and the reason for cancelling class)! Enough with the ! I am off to bed!

Great Quote for Today

2009-01-05T09:11:00.002-05:00

Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes
action, perseverance, and facing your fears.
-- Gillian Anderson

Love this! In the spirit of posting my list of things I love, I'll add one more on here today:

Great quotes.

I think this one is a keeper and I will be sure to share it with my students when they begin to freak about looking for jobs.

Random Things I Love

2009-01-04T17:29:00.003-05:00

I have been working on a list for a scrapbook page idea I stole from somewhere. The gist is that you place words on a page representing things you love. The idea was 100 things. My list is growing, but I am not quite at 100 yet so I don't want to actually start the scrapbook page until my list is final. Aside from the obvious choices of family and pets, I am going to list my 100 loves on here in no particular order (10 at a time so don't go running away from a boring list counting to 100). I think this will be a yearly project for me to see how much things change in one year.

Pepperidge Farm Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers (french vanilla)...my current snack of choice.

My flatiron.

Water.

Chapstick.

Clinique Happy.

Sabon soap.

Shoes.

Jewelry.

Bud Light.

Peanut butter.

I am finding that this list is a great summary of me. Well...100 things isn't quite a summary, right? More like a short story.

The first of the new year

2009-01-03T08:10:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year! 2009 has so far been one of new experiences and lots of laughter. So far so good.

I have decided my word is going to be journey for this year. After all, isn't life just one long journey to our final destination? I am going to be making many small trips this year (and not to the land of crazy!) and experiencing new things. Each day should be an adventure as I learn to navigate through life.

Yesterday, for example, I took the entire Christmas tree down by myself. I started on Thursday with only the ornaments (and that took 2 hours). Friday, during Ella's nap, I tackled the lights, ting ting, and the branches. I put everything away in a very organized fashion so that I would not have a huge struggle next year trying to get it back up again. I reorganized one storage space so that I could fit more of the heavy stuff in the main level of the house (smart thinking, eh?), and then had some help carrying the tree and the big box of ornaments downstairs for final storage.

I said goodbye to an old friend yesterday - a couch. A couch that had belonged to my grandparents and that I purchased for $50 when the majority of their things were sold. It moved three times with me and until moving to my current house was the couch I sat on, napped on, and cleaned regularly. It has been in Ella's room since moving here. Since I am tired of Toys 'R Us dumping its contents in my living room, I have decided to take the couch out of her room and make room for most of her toys in there. That process will continue today.

The couch got a good home and will continue to be loved.

I got my refund confirmation for the shoes I sent back the other day...an extra $140.16 is now mine! Whoop whoop! (Yes, if you are scratching your head...three pairs of shoes went back. They were all on sale, but when I look at the amount of the refund for three pairs of shoes I kind of scratch my own head...)

Finally! A productive use of my time!

2008-12-30T13:44:00.002-05:00

Do you ever do something that has been sitting around screaming, "Do this now!" for months? Back in August, I went on a shoe buying spree. (See previous posts about shoes and my love for them.) I placed two significant orders and when they came in, I was disappointed that some of the shoes did not fit.

Endless.com has free shipping and free returns.

Do you think I ever sent the three pairs of shoes back that did not fit?

I'll wait while you guess.

That's right...Procrastination won again. These shoes have been sitting in my bedroom since the end of August waiting to be taken to the post office. All I had to do was print a return label (from their website), write return reason codes on the packing slips, and then seal the box. I finally did it today. It took all of three minutes.

Why do I procrastinate so much? My mom would tell you that it is because I am a perfectionist and if I can't plan the steps out just so then I can't start something. I'll go with that. And because I get distracted. Easily.

Like I felt the need to blog about overcoming my procrastination today. Do you think the label has actually been applied to the box yet? Nope. It hasn't. Do you know why? Because I just printed it, so I am already sitting at my computer. I need scissors. The scissors are in the kitchen. So why walk to the kitchen, cut out the label, walk to the bedroom to apply it, and then come back and post? See how my brain works? I am thinking of getting a drink of water while I am in the kitchen. I know that I need to bring more water upstairs from the basement. I know that when I go down there I will flip my laundry around. Then probably forget the water and have to go back in five minutes. So why not just cut the label, put it on the box, and then go after the water? So I am not further distracted by sweeping the basement or something crazy like that?

This whole post reminds me of when I was in high school and Dr. Lepp gave us an assignment to take out some paper and a pen/pencil and just write was what in our heads. I think it was called a stream of consciousness? Or a train of consciousness? Am I even remembering the assignment at all?

Off to cut the label. I might even make it to the post office today to send it back. I could use the credit on my credit card. Whoop whoop!

Decision Time

2008-12-26T08:11:00.002-05:00

After reading about this concept for a week now, I have decided that I am going to choose a word for my theme for 2009. A whole year. One word. One theme.

Whew. This is a big decision for the girl who often can't decide between peanut butter or grilled cheese. Hair up or down (when it was longer, anyway). This ring or this ring. These shoes or those shoes or perhaps even those other ones. French cut green beans or just cut green beans.

Do you get the idea? Do you see how hard decisions are for me? And I'm going to choose ONE word for the ENTIRE year? Yikes!

Naturally, I am having a hard time choosing. I think I have narrowed it down to two, but there might be other words out there that I haven't even considered. So what if my two choices are not the greatest words? What if I find a word on January 2 that I like so much better? Will I then have to change my mind and then feel like a failure because I couldn't even stick to one word for more than two days?

As I have been typing this, I have thought of one more word to add to my list of choices. Yikes. I better stop thinking about this so much and just post my three words and see if anyone bothers to vote for his/her favorite.

Build
Grow
Journey

All three words seem to fit where I am in my life at this time. The only thing I do not like about Grow is that I don't necessarily want to physically grow. I mean unless I really start lifting some weights and get massive muscles in my arms, then that is okay. But only in my arms. I would like to shrink the rest of the body. Well except for my head. That would be kinda crazy.

Since I don't have to have a final answer until next week, I have some time to take a little poll. I am going to ask others who may not read this for their opinions, but I would like to gather as much data as possible for this completely unscientific study. So what would you choose? Do you have a reason why?

Survival

2008-12-25T21:26:00.004-05:00

We survived the holiday. A smattering of photos from today's festivities, here and at my parents' house.

I'm thankful that Ella "got it" this year and was excited for her presents when she woke up. I wish I could have caught her initial reaction on camera. Next year, I will be standing by her presents ready when she comes out of her room. (Helpful tip to include in the next "How to be a mommy" book in case anyone happens to be writing one. Also don't forget to include the checklist so that cookies and milk are never forgotten, birthday cakes are always ordered in time, and the medicine cabinet always has the essentials...while I'm at it, it might not be a bad idea to have a checklist of every member in the family so you make sure you take pictures of them all...hi Cory, Seth, Ashton, and Anthony! *waves wildly at her beautiful nephews*)

Unloading the car is going to have to wait until tomorrow. I'm beat. It is time for a new Christmas tradition to start at my house - a cold, refreshing beverage to end Christmas Day. Since I have already had milk and water, I guess I'm left with no choice than to partake in a Bud Light.

The real update (with photos)

2008-12-23T15:18:00.003-05:00

Groceries are now safely tucked away in the cabinets and refrigerator. No spoiling food here. Okay...so all of my irrational fears from yesterday were for nothing. I should have been more afraid of the traffic and the parking situation than of the actual grocery experience. Short version:

Arrived at Kroger at 10 til 12 after four meltdowns prior to leaving (Ella's, not mine. Okay - one for me and three for her. No? Fine. Two each. We were even Steven.)

Spent 5 minutes looking for single onions instead of a bag

Found single onions

Picked up the rest from the list with very little driving in circles

Could not find the candy/gum aisle

Drove in a circle

Located the gum

Got my very own Plus card in my name

Checked out and was in the car by 12:30

While I was in Chicago in October, four people stopped me to ask for directions. Taumi and I decided that I look like such a native in that awesome city that people assumed I was. Amazingly, I was asked for directions to the produce section by some person who apparently thought the fresh foods were with the beer and wine. Even I know better than that.

Ella was pretty good for our trip. I am going to try to figure out a way to plan far enough ahead to avoid taking her with me in the future. For no other reason than to avoid bitch slapping the people who call her a boy. Come on...she has a braided purple hat with a purple coat with pink shoes. How could she possibly pass for a boy?

Here is a picture of us at the end of our shopping trip. My hair in the picture does not look much different than it normally does except for the color. I am loving the color. Totally loving it. It's very warm. I like warm. Especially when it is very cold outside. I don't like warm as much when it is warm outside. See how hard it is to please me?

I wonder if a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser would take those damn wrinkles off of my eyes?

I came to update

2008-12-23T14:57:00.002-05:00

but then realized that I had to actually unload the groceries from my car. I will return to post the picture and describe the grocery experience shortly. Go ahead and find something else to do in case it takes me a million years to remember that I need to come back here and finish this. I wouldn't want to be the reason for your not getting everything on your list finished.

Stop the Internet Rumors...I'm Not Dead

2008-12-22T21:01:00.002-05:00

Hee hee. Yet. I will attempt to not do myself in tomorrow night after cooking dinner. It's been kinda hard to kill myself on fast food and cinnamon toast. But tomorrow...the big night...I'm going to cook from scratch.

Go ahead and stop reading. I'll wait for you to quit feeling dizzy.

Like the organized domestic goddess I aspire to become (but come on...will most likely never actually win the title), I sat down tonight, cookbook on the counter, pantry doors open, and shopping list in front of me (with a pen in my hand) and PLANNED meals for the next two days.

Go ahead and wait for the faintness to pass. I can keep waiting. After all, I'm not actually sitting in front of *my* computer watching you read this. Don't you think *that* would be a little, teeny, tiny bit scary? As if I had nothing better to do. Like take out the trash, clean the cat box (anyone want a nice, well anyone want a cat?), feed the dog, stoke the fire, feed/bathe/clothe/play with my child, clean the toilet, clean the floor, drink water, etc.?

Did I mention before that I did not have a Bud Light in hand while planning meals? That I made it through the entire ordeal without cracking one open? And that my mom was here? Eye yi yi.

So after my mom explained to me that the pan I call my mac and cheese pan is technically called a saucepan and that, yes, in fact I did have the correct tools to make this one certain dish, I got the meals planned and my grocery list made. I am going to attempt Kroger on Tuesday. Yes, that's right. Kroger. Tuesday. During the day because my BFF told me that it would be easier to be there in the daytime before the workers got there for quick pickups after work. I am wondering if it wouldn't be easier to be there when the store is crowded so that someone will eventually call for help when I pass out in the aisle after contemplating between one kind of chicken broth or the other.

Why are there so many choices in the grocery store anyway? And what happens if I can't find the exact size of the product I need to make a certain dish on my list? Will I be required to do math in the middle of Kroger? Can I take an oxygen tank with me?

Did I mention that Ella will be going with me for this grocery shopping excursion? I am thinking of getting her a Dora backpack so we can spin in circles and sing, "We did it, we did it," when we are finished. If we finish.

On a completely random note - I got my hair done today. It is fabulous. Perhaps I will take the trusty camera with me tomorrow and have the nice checkout person take a picture of Ella and me when we finish our grocery task. This will accomplish two goals. The first is that I can document actually going to Kroger without assistance from a friend and purchase everything on my list. The second is that I can then come home, take a nap from the exhausting day, and then post a photo to prove that I did it with fabulous hair.

Some random illogical fears about the shopping trip:

It will be pouring down rain and we will be soaked prior to entering Kroger. Then I will have bad hair and Ella will be wet and miserable.
I will not be able to find things on my list and will have to ask for assistance or risk appearing to be racing in the Kroger 500 (NASCAR style...round and round and round and round...).
All of the crap on my list will not fit in my cart.
All of the crap on my list will not fit my budget.
I will forget the single most important ingredient for tomorrow night's dinner and will have to adjust my meal plan and then go back to Kroger for the missing ingredient on Wednesday.

Okay...I'll stop there before I talk myself out of going to Kroger altogether and eating a diet of cottage cheese and pickles for the next few days. I did find a peanut butter dessert thingie in my pantry that looks scrumptious. Perhaps we would be okay on that for a few days? Please excuse me now. I must go take a hammer to Ella's play house thing that will NOT STOP PLAYING BLASTED MUSIC for no reason. See how I get? I never yell. I never type in all caps. I never am this stressed out. But thinking of the trip to Kroger and then actually doing something with the food when I get back is sending me over the edge. I think I need to make a xanax candy necklace to take with me.

Happy Birthday, Princess

2008-12-12T08:44:00.003-05:00

My baby turned 2 yesterday. It is so hard to believe that two years have gone by and how much she has changed.

Here's what I remember from that day: scared shitless at 11:30 when doc tells me we need to deliver the baby today because she won't make it another three days; canceling my lunch date w/ Tiffany; almost dying twice from low blood sugars; awesome nurses; my entire family invading my hospital room prior to being wheeled back for surgery; my friends all waiting in the waiting room; being wheeled through a big line of people on the way to surgery (felt like I was in a parade - thankfully I had good hair that day...the clothes left a lot to be desired); laughing so hard I couldn't function after the doctor put my spinal in; hearing my daughter cry and seeing her face for the first time at 5:05 p.m.; telling everyone that my stomach was burning b/c I could smell it (found out later that it was being burned but they wouldn't tell me that...); then yelling at everyone to not touch me when I came out of the recovery room. Oh, and how could I forget the immense pain I was in afterward? (No matter what bs any mother trys to tell you after birth - YES, you DO remember it!)

All in all, a worthwhile experience to get the end result. Oh, and the next morning, I had a giant bottle of Pepsi (that made me sick from all the sugar) and a giant Snickers bar, courtesy of an awesome nurse.

So here she is...then and now.

Another Prompt

2008-12-08T22:25:00.002-05:00

I read a prompt this morning to blog about your favorite elementary school teacher and why he/she was your favorite. My kindergarten teacher was Miss Lawson, and she taught me that while I was permitted to color outside the lines, I should try to make it neat and not messy. I clearly remember the gray Crayola I used to "color in" those pretty flowers and the sad face with the word "messy" beside it when I got the paper back from her. Twenty-two years have gone by, and I am still coloring outside the lines. However, I am a LOT less messy now. And I would never dream of using a gray Crayola on a flower!

Words of Wisdom...

2008-12-07T11:40:00.002-05:00

from the great philosopher Samantha on Sex and the City:

"I love you, but I love me more."

Perfect.

Christmas and More about Me

2008-11-30T21:01:00.003-05:00

Received a few of these chain things today and wanted to answer them so I don't have a string of bad luck or whatever the email gods will do if I don't. The first is great for me since I love Christmas and I did the second one just because.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial – who wants the mess?

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually Thanksgiving weekend

4. When do you take the tree down? January… last year I waited until the end of January to extend the season (not because I was lazy…)

5. Do you like eggnog? Nope

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Ask my parents, I hated everything

7. Hardest person to buy for? My parents

8. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope

9. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail normally

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? See answer for #6

11. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful Life

12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December 26

13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Sure – who hasn’t?

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My grama’s wafer cookies

15. White or Colored Lights on the tree? White only

16. Favorite Christmas song? Oh Holy Night

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Over the river and through the woods – rat race like any other day

18. Can you name all 9 of Santa's reindeer? Yes - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? An Americana Santa that does not light up

20. Open the presents Christmas day? If I can wait that long :)

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Budgets

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? I love all kinds of ornaments, but I typically only purchase ones that tell some sort of story or serve as a reminder for something memorable.

23. Favorite dessert for Christmas? Grama’s wafer cookies

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? For my daughter to have a stellar holiday

This is a "have you ever" kind of survey...
( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Watched someone die...
(X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost (but always enjoyed it)
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Been to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke. (only in the presence of family)
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X) Made prank phone calls (is your refrigerator running?)
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating (winter sports are not my thing… kind of like my experience with skiing)(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Got a speeding ticket. (I’m the luckiest girl on earth)

1. Any nickname? Hoopty and Marc (not my dad’s name, but with an s sound at the end)
2. Favorite drink? Water and Bud Light
3. Mother's name? Marlene
4. Tattoo? Stargazer lily on my shoulder and I want two more
5. Body Piercing? ears, three holes total
6. How much do you love your job? A lot
7. Birthplace? Zanesville, Ohio
8. Favorite vacation spot? Somewhere I have never been before
9. Ever been to Africa? Does The Wilds count?
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes, with milk for nutrition
11. Ever been on TV? Yes
12. Ever steal any traffic sign? Yes, of course (Henderson Street twice) I also stole some genuine county-owned orange cones. They actually did come in handy for something a few years later. I think my poor parents used to just wait for the cops to show up and ask how they got those cones and street signs. They owe all of their sleepless nights to me.
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
14. Drive a 2 door or 4 door car? 4 door
15. Favorite salad dressing? Creamy poppy seed
16. Favorite pie? Peanut butter
18. Favorite movie? Sex and the City
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas
20. Favorite dessert? Peanut butter and chocolate mixed together in some fashion, but I don’t really eat dessert
21. Favorite food? Mom’s sausage casserole
22. Favorite day of the week? They are all good
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Currently, I’m loving Sabon
24. Favorite toothpaste? Crest Sensitivity
25. Favorite smell? A warm dryer
26. What do you do to relax? Relax? What’s that?
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Smarter than I am now

(Yes, I know there is no 17 on this list but I did not feel like redoing the numbers.)

The day after

2008-11-28T12:35:00.003-05:00

Ella's Christmas dress. Waited in line at Kohl's this morning for 30 minutes to purchase this for only $17, a savings of 60%. This was after I woke up at 2 minutes til 4 to drive to Wal Mart and stand beside the Barbie Jeeps so my daughter could have one for Christmas. Thanks to my brother, I scored one for only $88. This was after last night's KMart debacle where I read the wrong ad and drove all over the green earth looking for a VW Barbie car that I thought was on sale yesterday and it turned out to not be on sale until today. Argh. I earned my mommy merit badge today in what was, I'm sure, the first of many early mornings to get a good gift for Ella.

What would shopping be without purchases for myself? I got a new red leather jacket, a black casual jacket, and an awesome jewelry armoire. Once I get the armoire set up and loaded up, I will share pics.

I'm looking forward to a fun night out with friends tomorrow and Thanksgiving with my family on Sunday.

Off to spread more Christmas cheer in the house...the tree is naked, except for the lights, and waiting for me to add my magic touch. Then I get to get crafty and redo my front door wreath so it will withstand another windy winter. It is so pretty I just can't seem to convince myself to make another one.

It's Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T06:18:00.003-05:00

So many things to be thankful for this year . . .

I finished a year of serving as president of my professional association's division (and lived to tell about it!).

I took two classes over the summer and am finishing up my third toward my masters degree, which will leave me with four to go and then I will be DONE!

My daughter is turning out to be incredibly smart and has a huge desire to learn new things.

I have been relatively healthy with the exception of a bad back and a few minor colds.

I have prepared dinner no less than 30 times in the past year and nothing I made was too awful to eat. (Big accomplishment for me!)

I got to take two trips to Chi-town (for free).

Had a blast in New Orleans (mostly for free).

I have met some incredibly cool people and made lots of memories.

My students are performing far above where other groups have been in a certain class I am teaching. I am not sure what to attribute it to - my teaching skills getting better or their intelligence level when I get them. I'm hoping it is a combination of both.

That I have been supported by my loved ones in all I have done.

My BFF turned 30, lived to tell about it, and has made it less scary for me.

Who could forget all of the shoes and jewelry? :)
I learned a new trick about Picasa just this morning that will solve all of my burning questions about editing photos.

Happy Thanksgiving to all . . .

Miscellaneous Musings

2008-11-23T15:16:00.002-05:00

Some crazy guy called me fat yesterday. Yes, he is totally a lunatic for saying that to me. I should have popped him, and I probably would have if I had not been on a high after the OSU game. So crazy guy should thank Ohio State for saving his ass. After I gave him the look of death, he started to backpeddle and explained that he meant p-h-a-t, not f-a-t. Whatev. Phat is not in my dictionary and to be quite honest, I must not be as cool as I think because I don't really even know what phat means. I heard later that lunatic guy did provide a thorough explanation to others about it after I stalked, er I mean walked briskly, away. But that doesn't matter. Did I mention to him when I saw him yesterday that I think he is bat shit crazy? No. Because it is not nice to say that someone is bat shit crazy even if it is true. I talked to him as if he were a normal member of society and refrained from my opinions clouding our smoke break time together.

Next time I see him, I won't be so nice. I may just walk up and tell him I think he is bat shit crazy and then maybe go on about how cool bat shit is and the different kinds of research being performed on it. You know, turn it into a total compliment. That might really confuse him and give him something to think about for a long time.

Speaking of crazy, is it really so crazy that I like ketchup but not tomatoes? Or that I like cherry flavored things but not cherries?

Sunday's Grammar Lesson

2008-11-23T15:12:00.004-05:00

Okay class. Today we will cover anxious/eager. Another misuse that drives me crazy.

Anxious = Incorrect: I'm anxious for Christmas to get here. Anxious actually means that you are so worked up over something you could quite literally vomit. (Which, in my case could be true about Christmas because I normally do get too excited that I end up vomiting, but that's not the point of this post.)

Eager = Excited. I am eager to interview with you, or I am eager to discuss my vacation with you.

~Grammar Goddess

I'm so ... mean?

2008-11-19T21:44:00.003-05:00

I went to Wendy's the other day for lunch (exciting, eh?) and this sign has bothered me for years. I took out my trusty camera and took a picture of it so I could "teach" everyone about the proper use of insure and ensure and assure so you are sure to never make this mistake again.

Insure - Has everything to do with insurance. Example: I need to insure my house against damage from a tree falling on it.
Ensure - Means "to make sure" and has nothing to do with insurance. Example: To ensure faster service, please have your money ready.
Assure - This is a verb meaning to declare earnestly to. Example: She assured me that everything would be okay.

No excuses now. The Queen has spoken.

It's just a good day - Wal-Mart and Bud Light

2008-11-19T21:36:00.003-05:00

I'm thankful for my BFF, who is always ready and willing to dash to Wal-Mart to purchase essentials. It will be kind of difficult to do that when she moves away and will require much more advanced planning. A four hour round trip just to go to Wal-Mart? Crazy, but I'd do it. There...that's it...the perfect reason for her to stay. I don't give any kind of ass that her husband lives two hours away. I need her. I. Need. Her. (Is that desperate sounding enough? Huh?)

Also, I'm thankful that Wal-Mart sells essentials such as Bud Light. Today was a Bud Light kind of day. Oh...who am I kidding? I guess any day is a good Bud Light day.

Am I behind again? Oh...who cares. I'm tired of rules that I can't remember. (Please excuse my lazy use of contractions today...it's the Bud Light talking, I think.)

I can't resist...

2008-11-16T21:40:00.003-05:00

Here are the shoes I wore on my last night in New Orleans. I love these shoes, but they hurt my feet. The only pair of shoes I own that hurt, by the way. All the rest are comfy, even if people don't believe me when I say that. Really. I swear. No need to second guess. Yes, my second toe is longer than my first. That's a sign of genius. Didn't you know that? But check out my awesome nail polish. I love painted nails. I do. They keep me focused on what is right with the world instead of the fact that my feet were killing me. And what's up with the appearance of no ankle? I swear my ankles were not swollen by this time. I swear. No amount of alcohol and walking around a city with 100% humidity and 100 degree temps and no water would make my ankles swell. I swear. Nothing to see here. Go on. Keep looking somewhere else and find what is wrong with my body. Move along...

There is no theme here, really

2008-11-16T07:25:00.002-05:00

Since I can't remember if I was ahead or behind the last time I posted, I will give four things today...I tend to get confused about "rules," especially if they are self imposed and not written down.

I'm thankful for another OSU win yesterday and having the opportunity to watch most of the game with my parents at their abode. Gram and Ella drew pictures on the magnadoodle while Pap and I watched the game (in between our naps). All in all a great afternoon.
Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Bliss.
I purchased more jewelry on Friday. As soon as it comes, I will share my collection.
I'm thankful that the holidays are upon us, which means that our quarter is almost over. I enjoy working on a quarter system because ten (or 11 in this case) weeks is just a perfect amount of time to spend on one topic and then start a new class after a much needed break.

Yesterday, for the first time since Ella was a baby and did not know how to roll over, she took a short nap on our couch. It was so sweet seeing her there all spread out and comfortable. Again, like mother, like daughter. She really is growing up quickly, and I know that soon my mental images of her as a tiny baby will fade. Hell, she's almost quadrupled in weight in not quite two years, and grown over ten inches. Somehow she has learned to say McDonalds, only it sounds like "m-onalds" and of course, while waiting in line at the drive through, she was in the backseat screaming "happy meal" over and over. That's my kid...no patience when it comes to fast food.

I just looked out the window to see snow flying around out there. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

I swear...it's not that bad...

2008-11-12T18:06:00.004-05:00

I posted before about my shoe addiction. I thought I would take a picture of my shoe closet. I had to post two pics so you can get the "full" effect, and I still was not successful in capturing the entire closet. The top photo cut off the top shelf in there, which is full mostly of handbags. The second picture shows the stack on the floor and hidden ones in the back. I'm contemplating moving some clothes out of there and installing some more shelves to hold more shoes...

So for today, I'm thankful for my shoes. Maybe in a few days, I will share my jewelry collection. :)

A pic or two from the Big Easy

2008-11-11T11:55:00.007-05:00

I'm spending my holiday today organizing my digital photos and am finally getting around to posting pictures that I should have posted months ago...

My trip to New Orleans in late July was awesome, and it is just fitting and proper that because of how much fun I had, I will forever be scarred from the trip.

The first photo is from our third night, at an open house event sponsored by IAAP. Chrissy, Jennifer, and I were the best roommates ever!

Second photo: Nicholas Cage, who was filming a movie at the Hilton. He was staring at me trying to figure out why the hell I had a huge bandage on my head. :)

Third photo: Karen, Jennifer, me, and Angie at the Famous Door bar on Bourbon Street where we spent entirely too many hours dancing, singing, and acting like idiots. (This was night of the head injury...)

Fourth photo: Chrissy, Mary, Jennifer, and me on our last night in NO. I wish our shoes would have been in this photo because they were HOT. (If you look closely, you can see the bandage on my forehead...)

Fifth photo: Sam, me, and Brian - two of my favorite people in the whole world. We had a BLAST hanging.

More Pics

2008-11-11T10:30:00.003-05:00

Taumi having a beverage before boarding the plane in Chi-town (and getting a to-go cup!).

Marcie and Pink Toes at the Regal Beagle in Chi-town (10/1/08)...yup a beautiful self-portrait!

Wordless

2008-11-11T10:13:00.002-05:00

Tuesday's Thanks

2008-11-11T10:01:00.003-05:00

The first one is quite easy: Thanks to our veterans.

And the second, even though it is early in the morning, I'm thankful that it is looking like it will be a fairly nice day. I'm not sure that I'm ready for winter yet (even though I long for South Dakota), so today's sunshine and fair temperature will assist in the transition from lightweight jacket to winter coat weather.

As Zee would say, "What a glorious day!"

Tuesday's Tunes

2008-11-11T09:48:00.003-05:00

I read a prompt yesterday about music and how it takes us to our past, especially to past relationships. The more I have thought of it, the more I agree—there are definitely songs/artists in my mind's "playlist" that bring back memories of relationships and friendships and experiences...

...Hank Jr., Synyrd, Journey, Garth Brooks, Guns and Roses, Boyz II Men, Aerosmith, Live, Montell Jordan, Finger Eleven...

All take me places and make me smile. I have to get my iPod updated!

Oh, and I think Ella's bedtime song is actually Santa Claus is Coming to Town, which disturbs me greatly. I wonder if she will be a Christmas junkie like me?

Two More

2008-11-09T19:34:00.004-05:00

Apparently I can only manage to do this every other day, so my goal of posting each day has been revised to two things every two days. That's how I roll...If I can't meet a goal, I revise it so I don't feel so terrible about it.

I am thankful that I have a washer and dryer in my house so I can do laundry whenever I want and do not have to haul it around.
I am thankful that I got to hang with friends last night and meet some new people. Good times by the fire...
And a bonus third - my daughter gives me much to be thankful for. Her charming personality and her developing brain have me in awe at all times. I especially am loving this new song and dance she will only perform while standing on the middle of my bed as if I am her audience. I only wish I knew what it was she was singing about. It must be something she loves because she sings the exact same song each time she does it and has the exact same moves. Strangely enough, I can't make out even one word she says to try to put the pieces together. I say strangely enough because she says so many other words with precision and can carry on conversations already. She's got a brain to go with her looks and personality. Wonder where she gets that from?

Off to start the bedtime routine, for which I am also thankful. I am much more "put together" in the mornings by doing a few things in the evenings. It's amazing.

Friday's Thanks

2008-11-07T13:43:00.002-05:00

Two more to catch up...

I'm thankful my neighbor is home from his "extended vacation."
I'm thankful for the dust I cleaned out of my house today—thankful that I had dust, had the tools to clean it up, and thankful that it is DONE.

Can I be wistful? Years ago, I wanted to live in South Dakota. I am longing to be there now so I could be enjoying this massive snow. Instead, we are stuck somewhere between the awesome weather of yesterday and the crappy weather we are supposed to get tomorrow. Cloudy skies, no sun to speak of, and only slightly warm.

Two More to Catch Up

2008-11-05T17:15:00.002-05:00

I'm thankful that my cars have all been invisible over the years as I have managed to avoid numerous speeding tickets.
I'm thankful for my *elf* shoes because I can't stop smiling when I wear them.

November 3

2008-11-03T20:18:00.001-05:00

Today I am thankful that the election will soon be over.
I am also thankful for the people I have in my life. 'Nuff said.

Season to be Thankful

2008-11-02T20:16:00.001-05:00

I thought for the month of November, I'd post something each day I'm thankful for...since this is day 2 of the month, I need to play catch up.

Pictures that say so much more than words could.
My nephews, despite their tantrums over the years, provide me with more laughter and love than should be legal.

Scrappers Gallery

2008-10-26T11:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to the grand opening of Scrappers Gallery, a local scrapbook store that opened in Zanesville. It has been years since we had an LSS here in town, and I wanted to be one of the first to welcome them and thank them for coming. I stopped in almost two hours after their doors officially opened, and was pleasantly surprised to see how many people had come to wish them well. I am excited about the opportunity to purchase items that can't be found at the box scrapbook stores, and also to participate in classes and crops.

I (of course) spent money, and because I spent over $40 (not too much over!), I got to spin the prize wheel. I won a friend-themed scrapbook kit. I am excited to use it...I just have to dig out some photos of friends and get busy.

I have been working on two layouts (4 pages total) for over a month. I am totally stuck on them. While Ella was napping yesterday, I pulled them out and looked at them with fresh eyes. I have been fiddling with them since (on and off during the Buckeyes game and now this morning). I think I am almost ready to adhere everything to the pages. I will try to remember to post pictures when I am finished. I am not 100% happy with them, but I think they will do. I have so many pictures that I want to start on, but I wanted to get my "unfinished" pile done.

Dreams...

2008-10-26T11:22:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night that absolutely shook me. As with most dreams, many of the details are fuzzy, but the main gist was that I was to meet a woman and give her directions somewhere. I had Ella with me and also a friend (who was blurry to me). When I arrived to meet this woman, I looked at her and saw my Grama H (who has been gone for six years next month). I said to my blurry friend that this woman looked exactly like my Grama and instantly I was too upset to really talk. My blurry friend stepped in and gave her the directions for me. Then my Grama look-alike said to me, "I feel as though I know you." "Yes," I replied, "I feel the same way." Then she says, "I was told you had a little girl and that you would be bringing her with you today. She looks just like you—beautiful."

The dream then ended as I woke up crying. I shared this with my mom on the phone this morning, and she thought perhaps I dreamed of her because I spent such a long time at her old house yesterday. Whatever the reason, I am thankful that I had this dream because I felt as though she was there meeting my daughter.

Another Card

2008-10-07T18:47:00.001-04:00

Made this a few weeks ago. Don't be stealin!

The Windy City

2008-10-07T18:34:00.000-04:00

I just returned from the NACADA conference in Chicago, and I had a great time there. I think I have found where I am supposed to be in life...if only I could convince my husband that moving there is a good idea.

I learned so much at the conference, and I am still going full speed to try to process everything. Of course, I met some really awesome people and had a blast with my coworker, Taumi. We got nicknames on our first night there, and I am now officially known as "Hoopty" to people in Oklahoma, Baltimore, and Nebraska. (Taumi's new name is "Tiger" which came from her original nickname that night of "Tie Girl" but I was not able to say two words clearly so I shortened it up to "Tiger." I think it suits her.)

I was a good girl with my shopping on this trip and only spent one quarter of what I did last time I was in Chicago. Go me! Some recommendations for restaurants: Bistro 110 (across the side street from the Hershey store), Grand Lux Cafe (of course!), and Jo's Be-Bop Cafe (on Navy Pier). We also went to the Reagle Beagle and they had awesome food, too.

I'd like to give a shout out to Pink Toes, Guy in Black Shirt, Jean Jacket Girl, and Baltimore and say thanks for making Wednesday night in Chicago so memorable.

Be Who You Be

2008-10-07T18:21:00.000-04:00

So if someone tells you to be someone you are not, what exactly is that person saying? For example, if you are wearing a pair of blue shoes and the person says that you should get them in black, does that mean that the person does not like the blue shoes and thinks you would be better served to wear only black ones? Or if someone tells you to stop laughing so much, is that person really saying that he/she does not like the fact that you laugh at all?

Over the summer, I had a prof tell my class, "Be who you be." (I totally know it is not correct grammar, and so did she. But when you think about it, it sounds better than saying, "Be who you are.") Anyway, Be who you be has kind of become my mantra since July. Happiness comes from being yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. If I feel comfortable when I am laughing (note: not giggling like a school girl due to nervousness), then why should I stop? If I am comfortable wearing blue shoes, why should I stop? Isn't this (life) about what *I* want and not what someone else *thinks* I should want or do?

How many other places can we apply this thought process? To the foods we eat (I so heart french fries) to the beverages we drink (I also so heart Bud Light) to the way we drive (I heart speeding) to every other choice we make. Granted, I know when it is appropriate to do what I heart doing - I am not going to be caught eating french fries, drinking beer, and speeding away in my car, for example.

In my old life, I listened to a lot of country music (before I wised up and knew better). I remember a song that said something about having too much fun. I can't remember the whole gist of it (or even any of the words), but is it a crime to have fun and bring the fun with you wherever you go? Of course, fun doesn't mix well in certain situations, and I understand the difference. But places where I spend a lot of time NEED to be fun for me or else I will dread going there. And a happy Marcie is MUCH better than no-fun Marcie.

Coincidence?

2008-09-17T19:15:00.002-04:00

I just noticed that the last post I made was one month ago. Apparently 17 is a lucky number of sorts for me - my birthday, my sister's birthday, and now the only day I seem to update my blog. Hmmm...

Makes me think back to what I was doing when I was 17. I was a senior in high school, driving my "silver bullet" car, working as a mall rat, taking my first Harley rides, and dating my high school sweetheart. Since all good things eventually do come to an end, by the time I would be half way through my 18th year of life, the car had caught fire (no fault of mine!), I was no longer a mall rat, had graduated high school, and the high school sweetheart was long gone. They were definitely good things, and the majority of my fondest memories come from that time period.

Proofread, People!

2008-09-17T19:15:00.001-04:00

Helpful hint #133:

If applying for a job, please ensure your own name is spelled correctly on all materials! 'Nuff said.

My Shoe Secret

2008-08-17T15:27:00.000-04:00

I can't keep my shoe secret a secret much longer. I love shoes...that "new shoe" smell...the way the heel sounds clicking on the floor...the look of the boxes stacked high in my closet.

My best kept shoe secret is endless.com. This website is an awesome place to lose yourself for hours just looking at the shoes available. They have super fast shipping (most shoes FREE overnight), and 100% free returns in case the shoe does not fit as perfectly as you would like. It's a partner to amazon.com, so if you have an amazon account already, you won't even need to redo your information.

My new favorite brand is Naughty Monkey. The shoes, even with the over 3 inch heel height, are some of the most comfortable I have ever worn.

There...the secret is out. Hi, I'm Marcie, and I am a shoe addict.

Recent Cards

2008-07-20T22:07:00.000-04:00

Here are some recent cards I have made.

Happiness

2008-07-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking of what happiness truly means for quite some time. Many people, myself included sometimes, believe that happiness can be found in that pursuit of the next "thing." For example, I had an obsession with purchasing a Wii for several months and stalked stores, websites, etc., for consoles. Would I die if I did not find one? Would my friends and family think less of me if I did not own one? Nope to both questions. But I *had* to have one because I believed it would make me happy to get one. Care to guess how many times in the past four months I have turned it on? ONCE. Care to guess how many games I have purchased (and accessories) in the past four months? Two games and their accessories. Pathetic. Have these purchases caused happiness in my life? Absolutely not.

So where does happiness come from? Inside? So how do you "get happy" if you are not naturally happy? What does happy really mean? Is it always smiling? Is it always being positive? (I'm getting a Pollyanna vibe here, right?) Perhaps this is why the self-help industry is booming? Or therapists are so difficult to get appointments with?

I have lots to chew on, and this question of happiness may become my latest obsession. Any self-help books out there worth reading to find the answer?

Oh, and I may have a Wii for sale...