Monday's Update

I did it! I did it! I need a backpack and a zippy little Dora song!

Ella and I put dinner in the crockpot this morning. I did not touch the raw meat; I used a fork for that. WOOT!

The Christmas tree is now naked in the living room. Taking the ornaments off took a long time (well, I was distracted by the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), so I stopped before taking off the lights and actually dismantling the tree. :)

My BFF got some rocking news today and her excitement poured out of her texts. This BFF is super proud of that BFF. Like, totally proud!

The winter blues are knocking on the door, and in an effort to fight them off, tomorrow night's dinner will remind us of what we had for the 4th of July - grill and all.

Unfortunately, yesterday, I was reminded of how immature adults can be. Tsk, tsk. Big girl panties were put on, lips were zipped, and the drama was kicked to the curb. Avoidance is not normally my style, but it was the best for the situation. And you know what? I saw the line in the sand and knew I couldn't erase it, step over it, or ignore it. How is that for growth and maturity?

Another item on the resolution list was to get crafty again. The past few days I have spent some time looking at crafts, doing some research, and trying to figure out where this all will take me. Needless to say, excitement is pouring out of me right now, too. Making messes in the name of being creative is exciting!

My word for 2011 is Create. Create my future, create my memories, create experiences, create crafts, and create a place of love of warmth for family and friends. Totally doable! Check back here for more progress reports and maybe even to catch a glimpse of things I have been creating!

What I'm Doing

currently, procrastinating on working on my to-do list. :)

I have been looking through recipe books this morning looking for meal ideas for the coming week. I get to hang out with the kids on Monday since we have a holiday from school/work. I am going to get out the crock pot and make something! WOOT. We might also do a little meal prep for the coming week since the kids will essentially be with us all week.

One of my resolutions is to find and perfect 12 new (to me) recipes this year. I am going to choose a pork crock pot recipe as my first one. There doesn't appear to be any touching of raw meat involved with this recipe, so I am pretty comfortable. lol

My to-do list today includes grading papers, preparing for classes on Tuesday, working on a big project for work, making the grocery list and going to the grocery, unloading/reloading dishwasher, dusting, running the sweeper, and the one I am ashamed of...{taking down the Christmas tree and decorations}.

Yes, the tree is still up. I love it so much that it depresses me just thinking of taking it down. The dog must be ready for it to come down, though, because she gave us a pretty big hint. She took it upon herself to eat quite a few of the lights off the bottom. lol

The dust is screaming my name...

Whereas

I come from a world where the word "whereas" is used ten millllllliiiioooon times in resolutions. I thought it would be fun to title my resolution post with the word that has some funk, charm, and old-school style.

Welcome to 2011. Welcome one and all!

Oh, I forgot I didn't actually finish up/close out the year 2010. In a nutshell...

Laughter, friends, family, two beach vacations, landscaping, home improvement projects, work, work, work, road trips, laughter, friends, concerts, chillaxin, 31, three new wardrobes for Ella because she grew like a weed, pain, breaking, clouds, dark spots, bright and shiny spots, chasing balls, cornhole, riding a bike for the first time in YEARS, learning, growing, losing. And laughter.

Now, for 2011. I give you my "whereas" list.

Whereas, I will finish my bathroom this year.
Whereas, I will be the best mother I can be.
Whereas, I will finally have ink on those papers!
Whereas, I will continue to love with my whole heart.
Whereas, I will read at least six books this year (not textbooks!).
Whereas, I will clean out the home office and begin to use my craft supplies again.
Whereas, I will explore down deep in my soul to find what fuels it and then supply it with more food than it has ever received.
Whereas, I will learn and perfect 12 new (to me) recipes so I can spoil my family a little more.
Whereas, I will make time to just be in the moment with those I love and cherish. Unplug from life and just breathe in their scents, listen to their stories, and share new adventures with them.

How's that for ambition?

Happy 2011 to you and yours!

Oh, The Blessings

As I sit here at the dining room table working away, I am reminded of the blessings in my life. Since the last update to my blog was so miserable (and kinda mean), I thought I would give you a feel for the blessings. You know, shake a little gold dust over top of the poop. Will it still smell like poop? Or will everyone love it because it is covered in gold? I don't know the answer to that, but I'm willing to give a little gold dust to you today.

I'm thankful for my life. Really, does this list even need to go on now? I mean, how many people just come in and say, "I'll take it all?" It never happens,, but it has happened to me. I'll take it all - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the totally-freaking-awesome. I'll take it. It does not even have to be wrapped in a pretty package with a bow on top. I don't require bows. I don't require pretty packages. I'm damn happy with getting the raw goods.

For those of you who prefer a list, here's a short one. It's only short because I am generic. Like a can of white with the black letters "Beer" across it. That generic.

1. Ella
2. Dave
3. Miles
4. Family
5. Friends I consider family
6. Things

There. That's it. And when I say Things, I don't really mean "things" like trinkets or knick-knacks or clutter that I have to dust. I mean I have the means to have things like take-out when I don't want to cook (which is ... hmm ... about every day) and when I need to get toilet paper at the good old Wal-Mart, I can. Those kinds of things. Everything else is just bullshit things and we keep that bullshit around to remind us of how hard we work for that money that we spend to buy that bullshit shit. Did that make sense? I have lived two lives in my adult life - one where I had the money for bullshit things and one where I didn't. You know what I learned? Bullshit things don't make you happy. True love does. And if someone wants to buy bullshit things and proclaim that his/her life is grand because of those bullshit things, then so be it. I love with my whole heart and I love fiercely. None of that is bullshit.

If you got through this bullshit post, just know that I don't mean everything is bullshit. I mean, toilet paper is awesome. Coffee creamer is awesome. Coffee is awesome. Friends and family are awesome. Being surrounded by people you love and love you in return...most awesome. (Notice I did not spell awesome wrong...not once!)

On My Mind...

Thankfully, I was blessed with a filter. Now, now, friends, I know sometimes I do not use my filter, but at least I have one. I do, however, have lots of things I want to say, and I have done a very good job of keeping my opinions to myself. I have been the recipient of unwelcome opinions of late, so I think it is only fair that I allow myself to puke out my opinions. Since very few people read my blog, I am posting it here instead of elsewhere. I may link to my blog today, so if you happen to read this from a link on Facebook and you do not believe you are someone who has pissed me off recently, then let it go. Do not, and I repeat, do not, allow anything I say to get to you. I am most likely not talking about anyone who would be reading this. I promise. I swear. I even pinky swear. That’s serious in the world I live in, you know. Pinky swears are, like, serious shit. Like elephant shit. That serious. I swear. I mean, I pinky swear.

I’m getting some things off my chest. Ignore me. Or listen. It’s your choice. Remember what I said, though. This is most likely not about you. Are we cool? Yes. Yes, we are very cool. I love removing my filter when I can.

You are pathetic and fake. You have nothing all that important to say, anyway.
I dislike the way you have treated people to get to where you are.

I am not the one to blame for your misery.

You need to get a grip.

If you want to be more judgmental, I can refer you to a special place for those people. I’m sure they would welcome you with open arms, as long as you give them my name as a reference.

You deserve better! Go! Run! Get out of there, fast!

You, you, and you…be nice! You really do need to get along better.

She does not deserve that title any more than I do. Thankyouverymuch.

Why can’t you answer a damn email?

Why did I pay you to do that when I could have gotten it better for free? I’m so stupid.

There. I feel better. You can go back to your normal programming now.

To the Moon, Alice!

Normally, fall strikes me with panic and angst. I'm proud to report that this fall has so far not kicked my booty to Mars and back. (I was only kicked to the county line and back.) I feel sane, happy, and blessed. About a year ago, I started living life one day at a time to savor the smells, sights, and feelings; to fill my heart with all things good. And who can argue about how good things are?



I'm blessed with an amazing daughter who will be 4 soon. Momma's girl is growing up! Right or wrong, she is still sleeping in her crib. She has been ready for her big-girl bed for quite a long time, but momma has not been. I went into her bedroom this morning to run the sweeper and all around, I saw the signs that my baby girl is not a baby anymore. Gone are the blocks and baby supplies. They have been replaced with Barbie, paints, and cooking toys. Gone are the onesies; they have been replaced with pretty dresses and rocker-girl shirts. Gone are the diapers; Ella has the best collection of cool little girl panties.



I'm blessed with an amazing boyfriend. At times I feel silly being 31 and having a boyfriend. It sounds juvenile sometimes. But no matter what label I use, he is still amazing. He reminds me that happiness is within, located right next to beauty. I read a book this week that was heartwrenching because one character found love...the kind of love that aches deep inside. The kind of love that lasts a lifetime. The kind of love like I have. And tragedy struck and she was in pain because of that love. It's the kind of love that is within you...rooted deeply not only in your heart, but in your head, bones, breath. The kind of love that makes you crazy in love.



I'm blessed with an amazing bonus son. Even as I am learning where my place in his life is, it's a blessing that I get to figure that out. I am proud of him and enjoy being with him. we get to hang out together through the day while Dave works, and we have a great time. He is an awesome kid who loves Ella as if she were his biological sister. I enjoy watching them interact, and he's a good sport about playing with her and being patient with her. I love watching her watch him. She looks up to him (literally and figuratively) and he is very aware that she does this.



I observe with a big smile on my face. I live life with a full heart. I enjoy each moment each day brings, and I think that is why I'm not going to get kicked by fall this year.

Communication is Key

Welcome to my first installment in the series "Divorce Doesn't Have to Be Hard." I'm not sure where this series will take me, if I'll ever post another installment, or if this will become a separate blog on its own. It is absolutely something I have been wanting to do for quite some time, and I want to start with a disclaimer that these are my thoughts only. My only "training" in this area came from the School of Life. So here goes.

Raising children is difficult.

It's difficult when the parents live in the same household, eat meals at the same time, and live life together. It exponentially gets more difficult when those parents separate and no longer have unlimited access to each other.

This is when our communication becomes more important than anything in relation to the child. BOTH parents must put aside their anger and focus on the child. BOTH parents must acknowledge that the other parent has ideas and plans and wants and needs and they must BOTH be free with expressing those and listening to the other parent. When ideas start getting kicked around, communication should immediately begin, especially if the idea is going to in some way impact the other parent.

For example, Eben and I have a very different "custody" arrangement than normal because it is based on his work schedule. Essentially, Ella is with him every day he is off. I have a calendar that contains my life (heaven forbid I ever lose it!) and I know at a glance if she is with me or him on any given day. However, since life is all about change, I have to be willing to adjust my life and schedule at times to accommodate Eben working overtime. As soon as he knows about overtime, he calls me or sends an email so that I am aware and can prepare for it.

There have also been times when I have had to leave town for a conference on days he is supposed to work. I immediately call him and give him the dates so we can adjust our schedules.

There will always be some give and take involved when you are raising children together but separately. BOTH parents must respect the other's time with the children and notify each other PRIOR to setting firm plans.

Another example: I wanted to sign Ella up for dance lessons. I looked at the schedule, checked my own schedule, and consulted with Eben BEFORE I ever sent in a registration. I gave him the day and time options that were available and we chose the day and time for the lessons together. He knew up front that he would be responsible for bringing her to dance lessons on the Saturday mornings she was with him. He gave me the okay to sign her up. We even took her together in the same car for her first class. I expect this communication to continue in this way when we make decisions regarding sports, activities, and even school functions in the future.

The bottom line is that you have to communicate with the other parent. If perhaps communication was one of the problems in your relationship, you may need to adjust the way in which you communicate. Both parents need to realize this and focus on making the best of a bad situation for the child's sake.