Those Defining Moments

Is it possible to have a moment in your life (or in my case, an entire day) that was *the* defining moment and still wish it had never happened? What would my life be like if it had not happened? Would I be the same person? Would I be where I am today? Would I have learned the same things from other events/moments that I learned from that one?

If things happen for a reason, when do people get to find out what the reason is/was? Or is that something that we as human beings aren't ever permitted to be clued in on? Is that part of the secret to the universe?

I read a blog the other day that listed a "do-over" list. I got to thinking about what would be on mine. And, really, it is quite small.

• I would have continued to play softball instead of deciding it wasn't worth it. Or I would have whined and cried a lot more so my parents would have let me play baseball because I was even better at that sport.
• I would take back one sentence I spoke in May of 1997. Just one.
• I would have gone to Myrtle Beach with my friends after graduation instead of choosing to stay home and work.
• I would have ignored an email from August 2004. Totally ignored it. As if it got lost in cyberspace.
• I wish I would have learned to stand up for myself sooner in life. Maybe I wouldn't still be carrying anger around from ancient history.
• I never would have cut my hair off two years ago.
• I would have fought a little harder to keep a friendship. But I didn't know how to fight for it. I didn't even know I had to until it was too late. So I guess I wish I would have known that trouble was coming so I could be prepared. Or perhaps prevented it.

I doubt that any of these things would have changed anything in my life as it is now, but perhaps I could have avoided some of the bad stuff. Or at least some of the things that I obsess over.