Sunday, April 5, 2009

Change Changes Everything

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed of giving up on something that I had always wanted because I knew my own limitations.

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed that I would be learning and growing as much as I am now.

Six months ago, I never would have understood exactly what “the end of my rope” felt like.

Six months ago, I never would have emptied, reloaded, and reemptied the dishwasher in the course of two hours.

Six months ago, I never would have known my true strength.

Six months ago, I never would have admitted that comfort is not what should dictate choices in life.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that a shopping spree was not a weekend ritual but something that needed to be saved for and planned out in advance. (Or that I would need to purchase pants two sizes smaller.)

Six months ago, I never would have felt tortured knowing that I had to go two-and-a-half days without getting kisses and love from my daughter, let alone seven.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that the road to happiness was filled with as many pot holes and slow drivers as it is.

I realize now that I am stronger than I thought, I am more loved than I thought, and that I am right where I am supposed to be. The choices and decisions I have made have led me here, and while right now I have given up control of a few situations, I realize that I have done everything I was *supposed* to do, even if I didn’t realize it before. I have learned that letting go will not change the outcome, even if that outcome is not completely what I would have wanted or would have chosen. It is the outcome that is supposed to be.

Clarity. Peace. Serenity.

No comments: