December 11, 2006 - As I remember it

To follow yesterday's post of memories from three years ago, this is the third anniversary of Ella's birth.

Eben came home from work, we had breakfast, and since I was still on bedrest, I took full advantage and was lazy all morning. I took the dog out but that was about it.

I had a doctor's appointment that morning (as usual for a Monday) at 11:30. I was always the last appointment before lunch. Knowing that I would be hungry when I left, I made lunch plans with Tiffany for afterward. We were to go eat some pasta and then do a quick trip to Wal Mart to pick up essential items. (I was sneaking there since I wasn't supposed to be going anywhere...but I was going crazy being at home.)

Harley dog would not come back inside for me, so I ended up having to wake up Eben to have him help me. He was not amused (remember what I said yesterday about Eben not knowing we even had a puppy?). I left for the doctor with some peanut butter crackers in my purse in case I would be there for awhile.

The first order of the appointment was to lie in a chair and have a non-stress test performed. I was reading a book and chatting with Alice about the book. She would come in and check the printout, chat with me, ask a few questions, and then leave. She did this about four times in the course of 20 minutes. Once she brought Dr. Downing in with her. He looked at the printout. They left. He came back. Asked a few questions. I knew something was wrong.

My heart sank. I was scared. I didn't know why I was scared or what was wrong. But I just knew something was.

He came back to the room and looked me right in the eye and said, "You are going to have this baby today." I was so shocked because I knew I wasn't in labor. So why did he think that? Then he explained what was wrong, and I went from shock to fear to excitement to fear to shock. We went to his office to talk about our plan for the day. I begged him to let me go home to pack a bag. I wanted to see Harley dog. I wanted to wake up Eben and tell him in person. I was not permitted to leave. I was wearing my favorite black maternity shirt that day. And my favorite maternity jeans. And my hair looked awesome. And I had peanut butter crackers in my purse. I wasn't allowed to eat them, but they were there.

I had to go out and sit in the office while he made some phone calls. I had to call Eben. I hoped he would wake up and answer the phone. Finally, after calling three times, he heard the phone and picked up. He was scared when he heard my voice; I think I was scared hearing my voice, too. I told him we were going to have our baby that day. He asked me to repeat what I had just said. So I did. Then he said, "Does this mean I need to call off work?" I will never forget that quote as long as I live. I gently explained that since were headed to surgery at 5:30, he would need to at least call to say he would be late. Ha ha.

I walked to L & D and called Tiffany to cancel our lunch date.

I got to my room and the nurses started getting me ready and prepped. I had bloodwork done, an IV inserted, and met a hospitalist who was supposed to manage my blood sugar while I was waiting for surgery. Eben came with the essentials - some clothes for me, the camera, and my toothbrush. The nurse allowed me to brush my teeth after I promised her that I would not swallow any water.

My mom called in the midst of this. She wanted to know where I was. Our conversation went like this:

Mom: Where are you?

Me: At the hospital.

Mom: Oh, how long will you be there?

Me: Until Thursday, probably.

Mom: WHHHHHAAAAATTTTT? Oh my God. I'll be right up. Haveyoucalledanyone?Doesanyoneknowyouarethere? IsEbenwithyou? Doyouneedanything?

(There it is, ladies and gentlemen...the source of my hysterics...lol)

It wasn't long, a few minutes, really, before my entire family and the patrons of Tumbleweed knew that I was going to have a baby. :) (Mom happened to be at Tumbleweed eating a late lunch.)

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. People in and out. Almost dying twice. Poking and prodding. Shaving. Pictures. Almost dying twice.

Did I mention I almost died twice? Yeah. Remember that guy I was telling you about earlier? The one who was supposed to manage my blood sugar before surgery? That guy? Well...he kept putting insulin into my system through an IV and I wasn't eating anything. My blood sugar dropped below 40 twice within 30 minutes. I have never been so sick in my life. Hard to believe that Ella was born with low blood sugar, isn't it?

Anyway. Back to happiness.

I was taken for surgery earlier than planned because Dr. Downing got finished that day earlier than he had planned. My drug man, Chris, was awesome. The waiting room was full of friends and family. My sister pushed my bed until she got stopped by the nurse. I got a spinal, and life was awesome. I giggled so much they had a hard time getting me down on the bed into the correct position. Eben came in then, dressed in his scrubs, and looking quite scared.

At 5:05 p.m., I saw her. Dr. Downing lifted her up so I could see her. She was covered in goo but her eyes were so bright. Eben was snapping pictures. The lullaby played in the hospital so everyone would know she was born.

The next few hours were painful as hell. Pain I can still remember three years later. Opening my eyes somehow affected my stomach. I never learned in any science course that your eyelids were connected to your stomach, but I swear mine were that day.

But you know what? It was all worth it. And I did get to take some kick-ass pills to kill the pain.

I brought home a perfect bundle of joy. A beautiful baby girl.

Last week, I cleaned out the purse I had been carrying that day. I found my peanut butter crackers.

Three years of memories

Three years ago today, I had a normal day for me. It was Eben's birthday, and he was working midnights. Ate breakfast. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Ate lunch while Eben slept. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Checked blood sugar. Ate pizza for supper with BFF and Patt. Injected myself with insulin. Checked blood sugar. Played with Harley dog. Slept all night.

This was a pretty normal day in month 9 of my pregnancy. Swollen feet and all.

I had no idea that night when I went to bed that I would never sleep as soundly as I did that night again. I had no idea of the love that was possible in my heart. I had no idea how damn good it would feel to be called Mommy. I had no idea how much I would miss feeling a baby kick my ribs and bladder hundreds of times a day.

There are so many memories that have been running in my mind the past few weeks...from the "before Ella" time of my life.

I still remember how I told my friends and family about being pregnant. I remember Tiffany calling me on the phone to say congratulations. I remember sitting on the floor in my hallway scraping wallpaper (nesting as some would call it; stupidity is more like it) talking to her on the phone.

I remember the first belly picture that was taken at Tom's birthday party in August. I remember shopping for maternity clothes, baby furniture, baby bedding, baby gear, more maternity clothes, and more baby gear. I remember being in the Valley of Fire State Park walking on a trail in 110 degree weather in August.

I remember when I saw Harley dog as a puppy and fell in love. I remember waking up Eben to tell him we had to go pick up our puppy. (He was not amused as he didn't know we even had a puppy...) I remember potty training Harley Dog. Everyone told me it was great practice for having a baby. (For the record, Ella has only peed on the floor once; I can't say the same for Harley Dog.)

I remember the baby showers. Every minute of them. I remember the tiny pink clothes. I remember the tiny diapers. I remember the way the clothes smelled. I remember the way the lotions smelled.

I remember the anticipation. The excitement. The unknown that was coming. I remember when we found out we were having a girl. I remember naming her officially on the plane ride to Reno in August. (Well, I think *I* officially named her many years ago and then told Eben what she would be called.)

I remember that I was so excited to see snow that year. I remember that seeing snow meant Ella would be arriving soon. I remember it was warm the day I gave birth and did not snow for a week.

I remember we had friends over to celebrate Eben's birthday early. I remember breaking up Angel food cake and mixing it with sugar-free pudding so I could have a sweet treat that wouldn't send my blood sugar through the roof. I remember stirring that, giggling, and being nervous as hell that I would soon have to prepare food for someone other than myself (and not just eat popcorn for supper).

I remember the next night going to John and Pam's house to celebrate Tom's graduation from Franklin. I remember I had a half glass of wine. It was Concord. It was yummy.

I remember the next day (Saturday, December 9) not getting around too well because my feet were so swollen. I had to rest. I think I remember reading a book.

All of these memories have been crashing into my head as I look at my daughter...my almost-three-year-old daughter. She has no baby fat anymore. She looks like a person instead of a baby. A tiny version of me. A tiny version of her dad. A great mix of the two of us.

Tonight, we will gather as a family to celebrate her third birthday. I can't believe that time has gone by so quickly.

Living inspired is born in the awareness that this is it! We have one chance at life. And the wonderful gift we are given every morning is the choice of how we are going to live that moment, that day.
~Sally Cofer-Lindberg

I saw this quote today in my inbox (you can subscribe to a daily inspirational message by clicking here) and it made me start to think of how I am choosing to spend my days. Do I want to spend them happy or angry? Sad and hurt or happy and positive?

People who choose to live negatively are not only buzzkills for those of us who are happy, but they create darkness and breed negativity wherever they go. Reminds me of that old saying of how we all make people smile; some when we come and some when we go.

Some people would rather stew in bitterness and hate than to make a choice to go ahead and walk down the happy road.

I also don't think it was a coincidence to see this quote on a Monday morning...with all of the complaining about hating Mondays...we all know that Monday comes every week. We should be thankful we get to see another one, don't you think?

Some Great Quotes

About belief, happiness, and passion...

What happens when you believe something with all your heart? Belief fuels enthusiasm, and determined enthusiasm explodes into passion. It fires our souls and lifts our spirits.
~Mac Anderson

The components of happiness are quite simple. Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now. In its true form each quality includes all the rest, for happiness is whole, and one feels whole when genuinely happy.
~Hugh Prather

Only you can make you happy.
~Marty Martinson

Thankfulness

Listening to Bob and Sheri’s annual “I’m thankful for” chatroom today (bobandsheri.com) made me start to think of the things I have to be thankful for in 2009. There have been surprises, triumphs, challenges, and hard times; however, I have made it out on the other side with a new attitude and pride. I present my list for 2009:

Of course, first on the list is Ella Grace. We have had an amazing year together. I am thankful each day that she is a bright, delightful little girl.

This is my boyfriend, Dave. I love him. We are awesome together, and no one can take that away from us. No one. We laugh together, love together, and live life together. As long as he is by my side, I can handle anything.

Of course, this is Ella again with Eben. Yes, I'm thankful for him too. Some may think it is weird for me to publish a photo of the man I married under the photo of my boyfriend, but these two men are important in my life and I am thankful for them both. Hands down, I am most thankful that Eben is Ella's father. He loves her more than anything else in this world. He is the best dad. Ever. He is teaching her all of the things I don't know anything about and making her a well-rounded child in the process.

I am also thankful that we are a "model" for other divorced parents. I was told that I should write a book about how to treat an ex when raising children. Truly, divorce doesn't have to be hard. We are living examples of that. Maybe when I get going on writing again, I will start to write blog entries about our experiences to share with others.

I'm thankful for my BFF. She is Ah-May-Zing! No matter what, no matter when, no matter anything...she's there for me. We have laughed so hard this year our stomachs have hurt (and certainly we have gotten more wrinkles!). She has picked me off the floor (not literally because I'm so much bigger than she is) and kicked me in the butt when I needed it. No judging. Ever. She's the best.

My parents have recently started playing cards with Dave and me. This picture was taken when they beat us the first time. I'm thankful for the laughs and also for the butt kicking they gave us. It humbled me and made me step up my game a little bit. I also realized that it's not really always about winning or losing. What a lesson to learn!

Let's not forget the other things that are "gimmies": health, the means to live life, family, friends, and a job that fills me full each day. I got to take some trips this year - back to New Orleans and Chicago - attended an OSU football game - purchased some cool jewelry - turned 30 - WILL FINISH my master's degree in a few weeks - purchased some awesome shoes - learned how to use an electric sander - spent so much time on my deck that I forgot what the inside of my house looked like - visited with family near and far - and learned tons about myself.

I'm a happy girl. And I'm thankful for all of my blessings - big and small - on this Thanksgiving.

{{{Waving}}}

Whoa. Haven't been around here for awhile. I have been busy riding around on this ferris wheel of life.

Turned 30. You know...have too many things to remember in my advanced age that I forgot about writing for a bit. A book I just finished this morning made me remember this blog existed. I have plants that are dying outside because I forget to water them and I have no excuse because I see them everyday. Heck, Ella asks for food on a regular basis and I still forget to feed her (just kidding, Mom).

So I bought some new shoes today. Well...they are actually boots. Black ones. And they are awesome. I can't wait for cooler weather so I can wear them.

This book I finished reading is called Firefly Lane (I don't know how to do fancy hyperlinks or anything...just go to Amazon and search for it). It's a very large book (are they called novels?) that I could not put down. Except to feed my daughter and shower. And clean the house. And go to work. And and and...you get the point. It took me a few weeks to read it, but I am proud of myself for doing it. When I realized one day that I was on page 200 and I remembered every part of the story, the characters, and their stories, I had one of those lightbulb moments. You know the ones that make you wake up and say, "I did it!" I am able to read now - rather, to focus on something longer than five minutes. I think I'm on the road to reading recovery. Woot!

In honor of now being able to read again, I picked up two new books at the bookstore today. I can't wait to jump in.

I'm going to focus on writing. It really helps. I can feel myself starting to relax a little bit. Maybe tonight I will sleep longer than a few hours? One can hope.

Change Changes Everything

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed of giving up on something that I had always wanted because I knew my own limitations.

Six months ago, I never would have dreamed that I would be learning and growing as much as I am now.

Six months ago, I never would have understood exactly what “the end of my rope” felt like.

Six months ago, I never would have emptied, reloaded, and reemptied the dishwasher in the course of two hours.

Six months ago, I never would have known my true strength.

Six months ago, I never would have admitted that comfort is not what should dictate choices in life.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that a shopping spree was not a weekend ritual but something that needed to be saved for and planned out in advance. (Or that I would need to purchase pants two sizes smaller.)

Six months ago, I never would have felt tortured knowing that I had to go two-and-a-half days without getting kisses and love from my daughter, let alone seven.

Six months ago, I never would have imagined that the road to happiness was filled with as many pot holes and slow drivers as it is.

I realize now that I am stronger than I thought, I am more loved than I thought, and that I am right where I am supposed to be. The choices and decisions I have made have led me here, and while right now I have given up control of a few situations, I realize that I have done everything I was *supposed* to do, even if I didn’t realize it before. I have learned that letting go will not change the outcome, even if that outcome is not completely what I would have wanted or would have chosen. It is the outcome that is supposed to be.

Clarity. Peace. Serenity.

A Perfect Day with a Perfect Friend

This is my BFF, Tiffany aka Lindsey, on our lunch trip on Saturday. Aren't we hotttttt?

What you can't see in this picture are all of the laughs we shared, waiting in line forever at the bank, the scary drive to lunch with the old dude falling asleep at the wheel, Tiffany's hair sticking to the seat as if it were a balloon, bartering for chapstick, and the deep conversation we shared later during dinner. Tiffany always knows just what to say. We have a lot of fun analyzing situations and making determinations about people and events that have shaped our lives. She has a big heart and feels everything deep inside and shows her emotions.

We laughed so hard we coughed and choked (or chocked as she has been known to do...ha ha) while trying to make a decision on the phone of "scrub or leave." (In case any of you reading this have heard the quote, "My lungs are bleeding," you will be happy to know that "scrub or leave" will be used over and over again just as MLAB has been.) We also talked, albeit briefly, about the reason we became such good friends to begin with. We really only have to say one word and we both go back in time and think about it. That was a drama-filled point in both of our lives, but we came out ahead, intact, and with a best friend. What more could we have asked for?

I know what I am asking for...one more day like Saturday.

With a few timing modifications.

And more pickles on my cheeseburger.

Love you, girl!

Manic Monday's Grammar Lesson

Class, today we will cover a lot. I mean, literally, a lot. And alot. And also allot. Pay attention.

This is very important.

A lot means many or frequently. I have received a lot of presents in my life. She does that a lot.

Allot means to distribute or to give or assign as one's share. She was alloted her share of his millions. (Don't I wish!)

Alot is NOT a word. Ever. Erase it. Forever.

And ever.

Your assignment is to run to the nearest chalkboard and write, "I will not use alot ever again" 500 times.

I have a full cabinet of chalk. I will mail it to you if you can't find any.

--Grammar Goddess

Those Defining Moments

Is it possible to have a moment in your life (or in my case, an entire day) that was *the* defining moment and still wish it had never happened? What would my life be like if it had not happened? Would I be the same person? Would I be where I am today? Would I have learned the same things from other events/moments that I learned from that one?

If things happen for a reason, when do people get to find out what the reason is/was? Or is that something that we as human beings aren't ever permitted to be clued in on? Is that part of the secret to the universe?

I read a blog the other day that listed a "do-over" list. I got to thinking about what would be on mine. And, really, it is quite small.

• I would have continued to play softball instead of deciding it wasn't worth it. Or I would have whined and cried a lot more so my parents would have let me play baseball because I was even better at that sport.
• I would take back one sentence I spoke in May of 1997. Just one.
• I would have gone to Myrtle Beach with my friends after graduation instead of choosing to stay home and work.
• I would have ignored an email from August 2004. Totally ignored it. As if it got lost in cyberspace.
• I wish I would have learned to stand up for myself sooner in life. Maybe I wouldn't still be carrying anger around from ancient history.
• I never would have cut my hair off two years ago.
• I would have fought a little harder to keep a friendship. But I didn't know how to fight for it. I didn't even know I had to until it was too late. So I guess I wish I would have known that trouble was coming so I could be prepared. Or perhaps prevented it.

I doubt that any of these things would have changed anything in my life as it is now, but perhaps I could have avoided some of the bad stuff. Or at least some of the things that I obsess over.

Lead me not into temptation...

Oh no. I'm in trouble.

I have mentioned before my love affair with Sabon, the awesome store Tiger and I found in Chicago. I made a large purchase while I was there. I sent my friend to the store when he was there visiting in December to make another purchase for me.

I love their products.

I was sitting at work today minding my own business and my phone rang. It was the girl from Sabon. Temptress.

She was calling to tell me about a special offer. An offer only available to their very best customers. An offer that can't be found anywhere else.

Free shipping. On a $50 order. No sales tax on a phone order.

I went down the hall to get willpower. Will was not available. Tiger provided nothing. Tiger got online to make her list.

As soon as Tiger gives me her list, I'm going to make mine. Don't I deserve something new from my favorite store?

I have not purchased anything for myself in months. Perhaps this will be a "payment" for not having my nails put back on yet?

Time to shop!

Moving Day!

I have all of my belongings packed up...

In a small, empty Pampers box...

I'm moving to gmail.

I'm scared.

What if my friends don't receive my change of address card?

What if I miss important information because managing three email accounts, one facebook, one blog, and countless other logins/passwords/freaking crazy combinations of letters and numbers and security questions and retina recognition software is about to drive me insane?

I guess I will deal.

On the bright side, I did not break a sweat today. Whew. Easiest move I have ever made.

Like Mother...Like Daughter

I'm frightened. Scared out of my mind.

She's just like me. Mini-Marcie.

I have heard that I should think of myself, double it, and that is what I'm going to have with my daughter. She's going to the basement when she is 5. I will feed her, bathe her, and allow some daylight to get to her...but that's it. (Of course this is a joke... no need to come and take her from me. But I'm really scared.)

Proof positive:

She went to the drawer where I keep the koozies and selected one. Then she put her sippy cup in it. Oh my.

Can you see why I am scared? I know I didn't know what a koozy was until I was at least 7 or 8. She's 2.

Goodbye to an old friend

I did it. Yesterday. I said goodbye to an old friend.

My nails. *sob*

I have had these nails on since the spring of 2001 with a short, one-month exception in the fall of 2002. But I had them. The same person has been doing them since November 2002. Every three or four weeks. A shiny new coat of red nail polish. Beautiful nails.

I took eight of them off myself over the course of a few days (nerves, I think). Then I had Becky take them the rest of the way off and clean them up. Now I have short fingernails. And I feel ugly.

Hideous.

But the funny thing is that no one has noticed. Not one person.

Except me.

I have an appointment on Wednesday to have them put back on. I am weak. And I can't feel ugly right now.

One of those days

Everyone in the ville was out driving Maple today. Crazy January day after people have been trapped inside and everyone chooses to be on Maple at the same time.

Went to Wal-Mart. Not my typical WM, the one on the north end. Went there b/c I thought it would be faster. Faster because I was headed that direction anyway. Faster b/c I could not imagine that everyone and their brother, mother, sister, and cousins would be there. (Hence the traffic on Maple, I think.) Why aren't all Wal-Marts set up the same? I did the Wal-Mart 500 today looking for chapstick. I also did it looking for gum, which I did finally find. But no luck on the chapstick. Heaven forbid I stop to ask for directions.

This morning I wanted to wash the salt off of my car so I went to the car wash. It was not working. I went back this evening after I left a birthday party, and it was working this time. Only it wasn't. I put my $7 in (splurged to have the undercarriage done too) and pulled in. I stopped. The lighted sign told me to back up. I did a hair. Then it said, "Thank you. Please exit." I paid $7 to pull into the car wash, back up, and then pull out. What? So then I had to go inside and get a code to get it washed. It actually worked the second time and now my car is shiny and clean. Whoop.

Speaking of the birthday party, I ate so much good food that I probably won't have to eat again for a week. Whoop.

Back to the list

Not doing a good job of blogging often, eh?

1. Flannel PJs.
2. Blankets.
3. Living. {My} Life.

Happy Friday!

Fab Friday

Today is my childhood best friend's 30th birthday. I went to see her for a few minutes today and gave her a card and a small gift from my gift closet that I had been saving for this exact day. I was going to send her flowers also, but I am glad that I did not. Her "desk" at work was covered in them. It was great to see her, and she called while on her way home/parent pick up/drop off at daddy's house and we talked for 1.5 hours. Just like when we were kids. Isn't that the best thing about childhood friends? The old friends (no, I didn't mean that she is OLD...just that she is an old friend) that you can pick up exactly where you left off with. The ones who know entirely too much about you and will tell you how YOU handled the situation long before you can formulate the words to tell HER how you did it. I love it!

So - happy birthday, Danielle. Ya old fart.

A few things for my list today:

1. Mascara. Without it, I would appear dead.
2. Idiots who work at Burger King. I paid someone else's bill today instead of my own. His was cheaper. In my defense, I didn't realize it until I got home.
3. 1/2 and 1/2. Just makes my coffee taste so much better.
4. facebook.
5. Bob and Sheri in the mornings to get me going.

A short list today. I need to try to find the notes I have been writing down. It would be helpful if I could keep everything together in one spot. I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that.

Is it only Tuesday?

Went back to work yesterday after a few weeks "off" and am so blasted tired tonight. It's only Tuesday. I swore it was Wednesday or Thursday already. Really. I did. I thought I slept through the end of the week and have the weekend staring at me again. Not so much.

I tried to be funny in class this morning and apparently I had had more coffee than my students because not many of them laughed at my jokes. Yes, jokes. I told multiple. By the time I had threatened them to laugh at least once or I would reduce all grades by multiple letters, I had a few chuckles. Do you think they were being kind? Oh well. It'll get better.

It can only get better. Trust me. I wanted to escape the classroom. But I was trapped. Like a monkey at the zoo.

On with my list.

1. Books and reading (can this count as one or two? I am thinking one since they are so closely related. We'll see when I get to number 99 and need one more. Then I might split them up. But it's my project so I can change the rules if I want.)
2. Coffee.
3. My red fingernails. I haven't listed that yet, have I?
4. My cell phone. It's red too. And it plays cool music. I love music.
5. Music. (I'm not cheating...it was really next.)
6. Flip flops in the summer and for house shoes.
7. Firewood. My house is warm. All the time. And I'm not paying a fortune in gas bills. Which is a good thing since I have no fortune. (Mom - could you perhaps hurry up and find yours so you can give it to me? Thanks!)
8. Paper. Any old kind of paper will do, but I particularly love pretty patterned papers for scrapbooking and card making. And post-it notes. And plain old notepaper. And any kind of wrapping paper, cards, gift tags, receipts, etc. I am always buried in a pile of paper. I love it. The way it smells and feels. Ahhhh...
9. Tiaras. Like old 80s hair - the bigger the better.
10. Photos. (See #8 regarding paper...if I can obsess that much about note paper, imagine how bad it is when I see people I love [even ones I don't] in a photo!)

Can you tell it is way past my bedtime and that I have had entirely too much coffee today? As if four cups were not enough before I left home today, I had another at work and then made another small pot (two cups) when I got home from work tonight. Whoa. I will be amazed if I sleep at all. Thankfully Wednesday is my early day and I do not have class tomorrow night! Thank goodness for conferences in Baton Rouge (where my prof will be and the reason for cancelling class)! Enough with the ! I am off to bed!

Great Quote for Today

Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes
action, perseverance, and facing your fears.
-- Gillian Anderson

Love this! In the spirit of posting my list of things I love, I'll add one more on here today:

1. Great quotes.

I think this one is a keeper and I will be sure to share it with my students when they begin to freak about looking for jobs.

Random Things I Love

I have been working on a list for a scrapbook page idea I stole from somewhere. The gist is that you place words on a page representing things you love. The idea was 100 things. My list is growing, but I am not quite at 100 yet so I don't want to actually start the scrapbook page until my list is final. Aside from the obvious choices of family and pets, I am going to list my 100 loves on here in no particular order (10 at a time so don't go running away from a boring list counting to 100). I think this will be a yearly project for me to see how much things change in one year.

1. Pepperidge Farm Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers (french vanilla)...my current snack of choice.


2. My flatiron.


3. Water.


4. Chapstick.


5. Clinique Happy.


6. Sabon soap.


7. Shoes.


8. Jewelry.


9. Bud Light.


10. Peanut butter.

I am finding that this list is a great summary of me. Well...100 things isn't quite a summary, right? More like a short story.

The first of the new year

Happy New Year! 2009 has so far been one of new experiences and lots of laughter. So far so good.

I have decided my word is going to be journey for this year. After all, isn't life just one long journey to our final destination? I am going to be making many small trips this year (and not to the land of crazy!) and experiencing new things. Each day should be an adventure as I learn to navigate through life.

Yesterday, for example, I took the entire Christmas tree down by myself. I started on Thursday with only the ornaments (and that took 2 hours). Friday, during Ella's nap, I tackled the lights, ting ting, and the branches. I put everything away in a very organized fashion so that I would not have a huge struggle next year trying to get it back up again. I reorganized one storage space so that I could fit more of the heavy stuff in the main level of the house (smart thinking, eh?), and then had some help carrying the tree and the big box of ornaments downstairs for final storage.

I said goodbye to an old friend yesterday - a couch. A couch that had belonged to my grandparents and that I purchased for $50 when the majority of their things were sold. It moved three times with me and until moving to my current house was the couch I sat on, napped on, and cleaned regularly. It has been in Ella's room since moving here. Since I am tired of Toys 'R Us dumping its contents in my living room, I have decided to take the couch out of her room and make room for most of her toys in there. That process will continue today.

The couch got a good home and will continue to be loved.

I got my refund confirmation for the shoes I sent back the other day...an extra $140.16 is now mine! Whoop whoop! (Yes, if you are scratching your head...three pairs of shoes went back. They were all on sale, but when I look at the amount of the refund for three pairs of shoes I kind of scratch my own head...)